Say hello to Loni Anderson

You decide to turn right and head into Ferguson Hall at a slight jog. “Man, I hope this is the right way,” you say, once again cursing him for stealing your ticket. “What kind of community is this where somebody will just come in and steal something from right under your nose? This is ridiculous,” you say. “Minnesota Nice, my ass!”
You round another corner and think you see someone at the far end of the hall. But all of a sudden, your senses go numb as you hear the most awful sound you’ve ever heard in your life. As the blaring sounds of students practicing violins, pianos and horns of all kinds join together in one horrendous symphony of despair, you realize you are in the middle of the Ferguson Hall practice rooms. You howl in agony and jet down the hallway.
Once you are through the door, you breathe a sigh of relief as the sound dies down.
“What a weird building,” you say as you run past the picture of Loni Anderson, hanging with photos of other famous University actors.
At that moment, you think you see your man head into one of the theaters.
You follow. As you burst into the theater, you scream, “Stop … or I’ll shoot.” Although you have no gun, you hope that you’ll scare him.
Just then you realize that you have walked into play auditions. You apologize and are about to leave when the director approaches, wide-eyed.
“That is exactly what we are looking for,” he says. “The feeling, the raw emotion … you’re perfect!”
The director immediately casts you in the lead role of the Rarig’s stage interpretation of the Sylvester Stallone classic film “Stop…Or My Mom Will Shoot!” set to open in the spring.
Acting has always been a dream of yours and you decide to take the role.
The thief might have gotten your lucky ticket and a free vacation, but you have received a chance at stardom.