D-list Celebra-Endorsa-Palooza!

With so much being made of Barack ObamaâÄôs supposed ties to terrorist William Ayers , A&E thought it relevant to delve into the seedy underbelly of other presidential endorsements this political season. Contrary to popular belief, not all unwelcomed endorsements come from âÄò60s radicals turned hippie professors âÄî some are from inferior celebrities! There are plenty of welcomed and expected endorsements being tossed around in the celebrity universe (Oprah for Obama; Kelsey Grammer for John McCain), but there is also a litany of C and D-listers who have thrown their weight behind the respective candidates. While they are not as heralded as the Buffets or Forbes of the world, these sad sacks want their political opinions validated, too. Anyone who has seen âÄúTeam America: World PoliceâÄù âÄî or had the misfortune of hearing Sean Penn speak outside of reading lines for a movie âÄî can attest that much of Hollywood is firmly planted in Democratic soil. A&EâÄôs research on the matter did little to debunk that notion but there is a small faction of actors who go against the typical liberal Hollywood grain (John Voight /Robert Duvall /Clint Eastwood ). Musicians and comics are of a similar leftist bent as well. Athletes are a different story. Although Obama wins in terms of sheer numbers, McCain, rather expectedly, has significant footing in the âÄúOld, Powerful White GuyâÄù demographic (NFL comish Roger Goodell /Jack Nicklaus /numerous team owners). But what about the endorsements that neither candidate wants? The wash-ups, the porn stars and those of poor legal repute? A&E wanted to find out and thatâÄôs exactly what A&E did. Equipped with a definitive rating system (1 = no sway at all, 5 = voters canâÄôt resist), the following system rigorously scrapes the bottom of the opinion barrel. Without further ado, A&E presents the most unwelcome celebrity presidential endorsements of âÄô08. Celebrity: Jay Jay French Fame: Guitarist of hair metal mainstays Twisted Sister Endorses: Obama A&EâÄôs take: Yes, Twisted Sister sold a lot of records and any member of the group would serve as a magnet for that elusive âÄútrashy Jersey metalheadâÄù vote Obama has so fiercely courted, but Jay Jay is the clear Garfunkle to front man Dee SniderâÄôs Simon. To add insult to injury, Snider is a vehement independent with conservative leanings. Vote-swaying potential (1-5): 2 Celebrity: Kathy Griffin Fame: Able to market her lack of success into arguable/tangible success with her reality show âÄúMy Life on the D-listâÄù Endorses: Obama A&EâÄôs take: Her personality is grating; the main credit on her résumé is a supporting role in âÄúSuddenly SusanâÄù and her much bragged about multiple plastic surgeries still leave her light years away from what would traditionally be considered âÄúattractive.âÄù All that said, she does have name recognition, an Emmy for âÄúOutstanding Reality ProgramâÄù and is a hero to the gay community. The gay vote probably doesnâÄôt need much persuading, but Griffin sure doesnâÄôt hurt the cause. Vote-swaying potential (1-5): 3 Celebrity: Hulk Hogan Fame: Professional wrestler turned reality TV star turned recent divorcee Endorses: Obama A&EâÄôs take: What would once be considered a sterling endorsement from someone who has been through tumultuous ideological struggles (the decades long transformations from good Hulk to evil âÄúHollywood HulkâÄù and then back to good Hulk), doesnâÄôt quite carry the weight it once did. Recent steroid/divorce/son-paralyzing-some-guy omissions from the Hulkster have lessened his political clout. Still, the legions of Hulkamaniacs cannot be underestimated and they will come out in droves for their embattled savoir. Vote-swaying potential (1-5): 5 Celebrity: Lexington Steele Fame: Sultry African-American porn star with a much-celebrated penis. Endorses: Obama A&EâÄôs take: Difficult to gauge. Although it will certainly hinder ObamaâÄôs chances of nabbing the still undecided Christians, the Steele endorsement could lure some very recognizable âÄúperve votesâÄù from across the aisle. Cases in point: Ted Haggard, Mark Foley and Larry Craig. Still, the star of âÄúManhammer 8âÄù may bring the pretense of moral corruption harder than he does the vote. Vote-swaying Potential (1-5): 2 Celebrity: Brad Stine Fame: Conservative/Christian comedian who appears consistently on Fox News, is a feature performer for The Promise Keepers and never, never curses. Endorses: McCain A&EâÄôs take: The man has been described as âÄúa clean Dennis LearyâÄù and will certainly energize the âÄúnerdy youthâÄù vote for McCain. That said, stand Stine next to Chris Rock, Bill Maher or Michael Ian Black (all of whom endorse Obama) and his pious bit would be torn to shreds. Also, what can possibly top Gov. Sarah PalinâÄôs string of zingers directed at Sen. Joe BidenâÄôs age? The lipstick shellacked pit bull easily trumps even the GOPâÄôs most touted professional comic in terms of pure hilarity. Vote-swaying Potential (1-5): 1 Celebrity: Ted Nugent Fame: Longtime rocker out of Detroit and aficionado of all things firearm related. Endorses: McCain A&EâÄôs take: With names like Pat Boone and Hank Williams III serving as the meat of McCainâÄôs musical endorsements, having Mr. Cat Scratch Fever in your corner does much to solidify the rock base. Also, The Nuge has the tenacity and fire to not only oppose Obama on political grounds, but to also outwardly threaten his life last year with these choice words, âÄúObama, heâÄôs a piece of [expletive.] I told him to suck on my machine gun! âĦ âÄù You canâÄôt make this stuff up or top that kind of base rousing. Vote-swaying Potential (1-5): 4 Celebrity: Wilford Brimley Fame: That fat dude in âÄúCocoonâÄù followed by stints as that fat dude who sells oatmeal and fat dude who hocks diabetes testing equipment. Endorses: McCain A&EâÄôs take: Much has been made of BrimleyâÄôs pronunciation of diabetes (dye-uh-beetus), but what receive less attention are his firm conservative credentials. A staunch advocate of the continued legalization of dog racing and re-legalization of cock fighting, Brimley, sadly, is one of the bigger names in actively backing McCain. He does cement the overweight quasi-cowboy demographic, but offers little to shore up other groups. This point may be void of political relevance, but, he does sort of look like a fatter Teddy Roosevelt. Either way, BrimleyâÄôs chances of alerting folks of reliable diabetes testing supplies are better than his election swaying potential. Vote-swaying Potential (1-5): 2