âÄúOh, that tunnel. I thought you meant we could take a tunnel under the river.âÄù

âÄîMolecular and Cellular Biology Building

âÄúIf I were a girl, I would totally be one of those Red Bull girls. Everyone is always happy to see them!âÄù

âÄîVan Cleve Park

Professor: âÄúIf you get to a spot you just really canâÄôt understand, just say âÄò[Expletive] itâÄô and move on.âÄù

âÄîShakespeare lecture

âÄúDonâÄôt forget to seduce him!âÄù

âÄîCampus Connector

âÄúI hate that song where itâÄôs like, âÄòHe knows when you are sleeping. He knows when youâÄôre awake. He knows if youâÄôve been âĦâÄô No. You know what? Santa doesnâÄôt know anything about you.âÄù

âÄîFord Hall

âÄúCorduroy pillows make headlines. Just remember that.âÄù

âÄîInterior design class

Girl: âÄúRemember in the original âÄòThe Little MermaidâÄô when she gets her feet cut off and becomes a land animal?âÄù

Guy: âÄúYou mean a human, right?âÄù

âÄîPioneer Hall

 âÄúI feel like a dinosaur since IâÄôve been at the U for five years.âÄù

âÄîLind Hall

Student: âÄúDo we get extra credit if we pray to a Roman god?âÄù

Professor: âÄúUh, no.âÄù

Student: âÄúWhat if we just pray?âÄù

Professor: âÄúThis is a public institution; I canâÄôt encourage you to pray to anyone!âÄù

âÄîLatin lecture

âÄúJersey Shore is the reason IâÄôm pro-choice.âÄù

 âÄîPioneer Hall

Girl 1: âÄúSo Carlson makes it that no one can fail.âÄù

Girl 2: âÄúGreat, so we donâÄôt have to do anything!âÄù

âÄîPillsbury Hall

Professor: âÄúIt feels fun when youâÄôre doing it; then you go home and feel empty.âÄù

âÄîAmerican literature lecture

Guy: âÄúOh! I was wondering why my pocket was so warm.âÄù [Pulls out a corndog]

âÄîMiddlebrook Hall