Dr. Date 4/8/2015

Dr. Date, Whenever my boyfriend gets drunk, he gets handsy with everyone. From our waitress to our close friends âÄî he canâÄôt keep his hands off anyone. HeâÄôs a really touchy-feely person the way it is, but when alcohol is involved, heâÄôs even grabbier. It doesnâÄôt personally bother me, because I know he doesnâÄôt have any malicious intentions of getting physical or sexual with these people, but itâÄôs pretty embarrassing. I usually just shrug it off or apologize for him when things turn awkward, but IâÄôm tired of it. He knows itâÄôs a problem. What can I do? âÄîThe Embarrassed Bystander Crossing Comfort Zones, Though you say his behavior doesnâÄôt bother you, it sounds like it does. You need to talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. Make him understand that everyone has different levels of comfort with touch, and though he may not mean anything by the physicality, he needs to know that other people may think differently âÄî heâÄôs sending messages that he doesnâÄôt necessarily mean to be sending. Make sure he understands that you feel awkward when he gets touchy, and you donâÄôt want situations to be weird every time you go out together. If he realizes that his behaviors are noticeable and inappropriate, heâÄôll probably make a stronger effort to make them stop. He may be defensive at first. But if you address the situation in a polite way and make him aware that your intentions are good, the issue should resolve itself. âÄîDr. Date Dr. Date, I met this guy at a party a few weeks ago, and we instantly hit it off. (We ended up making out in the bathroom and outside by our cars.) It was a classic night of random romance. I didnâÄôt hear from him for a few days, but I really wanted to see him again. I decided to randomly message him on Facebook and put myself out there. I didnâÄôt hear back from him for a few hours, but then he asked me to meet him at Spyhouse for coffee that afternoon. We chatted and ended up having dinner and drinks together that night. It was a really good time. We seemed to have really good conversations, and we share similar interests. I realized that I have a pretty strong crush on him. So then I went home and told my roommates about the night. Turns out, one of them has a friend who has a friend who knows this guy, and lo and behold, he has a girlfriend! My roommate told me heâÄôs been in a relationship for two years, and he constantly cheats on her. I donâÄôt know what to do. It really hurts that I was played, but I really liked this guy âÄî and I think I still do. He sent me another message and asked me if I want to hang out this weekend, but I havenâÄôt responded. I donâÄôt know where to go from here. Do I confront him on his secret? Or do I play it out? I guess IâÄôve never thought about being âÄúthe other woman,âÄù but I think I would consider it for this guy. âÄîSomeoneâÄôs Mistress Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater, No matter how great this guy is you probably donâÄôt want to get serious with him. If he has a long track record of cheating, chances are heâÄôll continue the pattern with you. And if heâÄôs been this successful without getting caught, the odds are even higher that heâÄôll continue his ways. But refrain from spilling his secret to his girlfriend. You donâÄôt need to get her involved or worse, give her the wrong impression of you. He probably likes you, too, but if you stay interested in him, youâÄôll prolong his problem until he finds the next girl that turns him on. Show him that his way of doing things isnâÄôt OK, and though heâÄôs charming, itâÄôs unfair that heâÄôs taking advantage of peoplesâÄô feelings âÄî especially his girlfriendâÄôs. Let him know that you know his secret, and youâÄôre bummed that he led you on. It might be a tough conversation, but it will help him in the future and save other women, like you, from the hurt he made you feel. âÄîDr. Date