Dr. Date,
My friends and I got wasted on Friday, and at one point in our drunken conversations, I think my friend came out as gay. I barely remember the conversation, and we didn’t talk about it after the fact. I don’t know if I should bring it up to him.
Or was it just something he said because he wasn’t thinking clearly, and I should let it go? I’d like to avoid a potentially awkward conversation if I can, but then again, I don’t want my friend to be keeping this in if it’s true.
—Spilled Secret
Give Him Some Space,
You’re a good friend for wanting him to be open about who he is, but maybe he isn’t ready to share this with you yet. If he’s only hinted at how he may be confused with his sexuality while he’s under the influence, time may need to pass before he’s ready to really be upfront about it.
When he’s comfortable, he’ll let you know. And though you can provide support and friendship, no single person can speed up the process besides himself.
For now, let it go. If he mentions something similar again, start a conversation. But this time, make sure you’re both sober.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
I’m under a dry spell, and my hormones aren’t pleased, ya feel me? I’m ready for a good sexual adventure. Whether it be a one-time hookup, friends-with-benefits scenario or boyfriend, I’m ready for some fun. What steps can I take to make this happen?
I’m not too keen on starting something up with one of my close girl friends, and there’s no one in my outer social circles right now who I could see filling the void, so how can I meet someone new to have as my sex partner?
—Horny and Alone
Try Something New,
Have no fear: There are online spaces that are pretty much dedicated to people in similar situations. Have you tried swiping on Tinder or signing up for Grindr?
These sites are made for curing dry spells and providing one-time hookups.
And when you make your accounts, make sure you’re upfront about your intentions. You don’t want to match, date and show interest in someone who has the wrong idea and thinks you want to start a relationship.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
This girl who I like told me she was going to spend Spring Jam with me, or at least Saturday, but she ended up ditching me for this other group of friends and not telling me about her new plans. I waited for a call or text from her for hours, and by the time I realized that she had probably stood me up, the concert was over. I was really bummed.
She sent me a text the next morning that read, “OMG so srry! Yesterday was cray, and I honestly don’t remember wat happened. I got drunk pretty early. Brunch?” I didn’t respond because I was too hurt by her actions before, which in retrospect probably wasn’t the best decision
She hasn’t contacted me since, and I haven’t tried to talk to her, so we’re at a weird place. I still like her, but if she’s going to walk all over me like she did over the weekend, I don’t think I should waste my time. What are your thoughts? Maybe she was genuinely sorry, and I should forgive her.
—Sad Spring Jam
Give Her Another Shot,
I’m sorry she stood you up, but Spring Jam can be a crazy weekend and a hard time to hang out with a new crush. A lot of people choose to spend the celebration
with their core group of friends, which could make it hard to break away and meet someone new.
I believe she was genuiently sorry about blowing you off, and because its so early in your relationship you should give her a second chance.
But if it happens again, it’s probably best to move on. Flakiness isn’t attractive on anyone.
—Dr. Date
