New noise: Chelsea Boys

Minneapolis’ shirtless synth-punkers will take on the nation with their ferociously sexual live performances this August.

Chelsea boys rollin and rockin at the deceased Glitterboxxx venue.

Photo courtesy Chelsea Boys

Chelsea boys rollin’ and rockin’ at the deceased Glitterboxxx venue.

by Mark Brenden

ItâÄôs the great rock âÄònâÄô roll paradox that bands can break their necks in the name of rock âÄònâÄô roll while onlookers stand idly by, arms crossed, eyes scanning the floor. In the case of local up-and-coming âÄúdance-punkâÄù trio Chelsea Boys, who are releasing their debut, New Tectonics- produced EP in early August, the crowd doesnâÄôt really have an option. The group shatters the fourth wall with punk rock dynamite by dancing in the middle of the crowd, spraying sweat left and right and perhaps poking you with a guitar. The band is determined to spread that attitude across the United States with a nation-wide tour this August. âÄúWeâÄôre excited to bring Minneapolis music to other cities, and hopefully representing it in a positive way,âÄù said guitarist/vocalist Hunter Morley. âÄúWith a lot of bands IâÄôm almost embarrassed for them to go out of town,âÄù Morley added. âÄúI donâÄôt wanna say any names.âÄù As for the music? WeâÄôre talking about a sexual maelstrom. Drummer Jacques ClarkâÄôs piledriving beats steadily punch you in the gut, as Josh AtwoodâÄôs keys rub you down and MorleyâÄôs guitar comes from behind and donkey punches your skull. ItâÄôs a splash of Nintendo, a dollop of cocaine, a sprinkle of Black Flag and an ocean of sex. To call it âÄúdance-punkâÄù is to short change the experience. Perhaps Atwood himself put it best in calling it âÄúsweat on tape.âÄù Chelsea Boys are not the type of group who do standstill reenactments of their recordings on stage. Their live shows are balls-to-the-wall, greasy sexhibitions of flailing guitars, whirling limbs, discarded shirts and unbuttoned pants. Or, as Atwood put it, âÄúsweat in real life.âÄù âÄúAfter watching so many bands and being bored watching them, we do what we would wanna watch,âÄù Morley said. âÄúThereâÄôs a lot of great bands, but the live shows are generally uninspired. We donâÄôt like to stand still at rock shows.âÄù Apparently, they donâÄôt like to stand still or act with caution in real life either. MorleyâÄôs leg is in a cast from rocking a drunken ollie flip, and Clark broke both his elbows tumbling down a roof in his roofing job. But itâÄôll take a punk rock plague to keep the Boys off the road. âÄúWeâÄôll just come up with a whole new performance,âÄù Atwood said. In the world of Chelsea Boys, there is no Injury Reserve, just Steel Reserve.