Dear Dr. Date,
I am the original hard-luck case, datewise. I’m not particularly good looking, though not (I think) ugly or hideous. I’m not a smooth or funny talker, I’m not confindent at all and somewhat awkward when asking women out, and I’m really bad at reading their signals. Am I destined to be alone for life?
Ironically, I’m really good at making platonic friends. I get along quite well with most people of either sex, I’m smart, respectful, loyal, mature, and I’m a great listener. But when I find a girl I like and want to ask her out, something goes wrong.
I’m not particularly picky. In fact, I like women who are unusual and different as much as I like the average Jane Smiths. I just want a girl who is wise, honest, and kind, and who puts her own spin on traditional femininity.
So where do I find a woman who’ll look past the superficial and see me for the bland but decent person that I am?
— Hardluck

First, start thinking of these women as the wise and honest women they are — not girls. It’s a lesson in semantics to be sure. In my opinion, the best women in the world are the smart ones and because of that I always engage women through their minds first.
When you show interest in a woman make it clear from the get go that you are intrigued by their intelligence and individuality. Avoid making the correlation between your desire and their hot ass. Asses fall, but minds only bloom.
Start by giving them the respect they deserve and call them women instead of girls. Men don’t seem to mind being called guys, but then again, we haven’t been systematically supressed. Remember it was just 80 years ago that women were allowed to vote. It’s not merely as simple as changing your words, though. You must truly believe what you’re saying.
Once, on one of my frequent MTC bus rides, I witnessed a seemingly nice man miserbly try to hit on a woman. It was bitterly cold and she was bundled from head to toe with only her eyes exposed. As he tried to talk to her, she only gave one word answers or nodded, but never looked at him. He proceeded to compliment her about her personality and intelligence even though she did nothing to demonstrate either. He then went so far as to say that because he couldn’t see her face, he could only judge her by her personality. Everyone on the bus, including her, knew that was a load of crap.
This sort of pandering isn’t respect, it’s an insult. If you are decent, then make it show. Have your platonic female friends help you out and rethink your approach.