Dear Dr. Date,
A few months ago I met this great guy, and we’ve become good friends. Lately, I’ve developed romantic feelings for him. I do not know if he feels this way about me. As much as I try to convince myself that we’re just friends, those feelings return whenever I see him. We’ve never discussed anything very personal, like our love lives. This leads me to believe that things will not change in the future. So my question is, should I tell him how I feel or just leave things as they are right now?
— The friend

I’ve seen some incredibly strange things happen when love is involved. It’s impossible to predict what anyone will do because they behave so strangely. A stable, routine-oriented person can, under the influence of love, display completely different characteristics. This irrational behavior screws everything up. I don’t even know if you are being rational with me right now. Anything he or you have said up to this point is slightly suspect.
To combat all this crazy unknown behavior, I suggest you take the direct approach. Take the risk and ask him out on a date. Don’t rely on the interpretations of his actions to make your decision. Get the answer straight from him. If asking guys out isn’t your style, then make it easy for him to ask you out. If he’s cool, he won’t mind being asked out by you.
Are you are afraid to do this because you might scare him off? This is a common problem for people. They don’t want to ask a person out because a “no” will mean the game is over and there is no hope. By not asking a person out, they feel there is more time to subtly convince the person otherwise. These are the same people that get thought of as friends. Don’t be shy! Let this guy know you think he’s hot and great and all that.
Tell him you think it’d be fun to go on a date. All you have to do is use that word “date.” All previous questions will be answered and a hundred new ones will be born. Remember that a date can be anything! Go buy comic books together. Go walk around the lake. Go to a matinee. Pick something you’ve already bonded over as friends and turn that into a date.
Just to mess with your mind, I will say that many people, including me, have been completely mistaken about another person’s interests. I can think of many more times, however, that I suspected an interest but never did anything and found out later that the interest was real. Generally, if two people bond as friends, the possibility of a deeper interest is there. We like our friends for many of the same reasons we like our lovers.