Viva la revolution!

by Chris Walega

So the health insurance companies are so bad, mean and greedy âÄî thatâÄôs why we need to overhaul the whole system and adopt a government-run (i.e. socialist) health care system on the (mistaken) premise that everyone has a right to health care. Well, in the spirit of consistency, a lot of people are homeless or live in apartments, which is obviously the fault of mean and greedy banks and realtors. Why not overhaul the whole concept of home ownership and adopt a policy of government-run housing for everyone. ItâÄôs only fair, right? While weâÄôre at it, some people are hungry. Obviously, this is another area where government should be our salvation by implementing mandatory universal food stamps, like supplying people so many tickets per month for say, bread and cheese. I mean, how extremely bankrupt to think that somebody shouldnâÄôt have something unless they have paid for it. ItâÄôs time we recognize that every American has the inalienable right to have a car, a cell phone, a computer and clothes for free. Why? Because itâÄôs, uh, like a human right, man. Yes, we should just head out to the mall, shop our brains out and put it on the governmentâÄôs tab (i.e., the taxes that are levied on people who work and are successful). This wild and mistaken notion that a man has to eat his bread by the sweat of his brow has just got to go. Our glorious and benevolent leaders are leading us into a new vision for America and the whole world. Viva la revolution! Viva la utopia!