Dr. Date,
Lately, my boyfriend has been pressing his religious beliefs onto me. We’ve been dating for about five months now, and it wasn’t a problem until recently. It really sucks, too, because everything else between us is perfect. I think he’s the one.
I noticed it most when I celebrated the Easter holiday with him and his family. He made side comments that hinted at the fact that I don’t believe in the same things they do. I’ve never been a religious person, and to him, that’s a problem. He’s very Catholic, and his family is the same.
Whenever he makes the remarks, I don’t know how to respond. Usually, I just let them go. But one time, I fought back, and we ended up arguing for hours. It was completely inappropriate.
But other than this issue, our relationship is beyond perfect. We share similar interests, and for the most part, we get along really well. I love spending time with him, and I’d like to marry him one day.
So how can I explain to him that we’ll never see eye-to-eye on religion, and if that’s too much of a problem, he needs to move on? It would absolutely break my heart if that was the case, but I know that might be what’s best. I know how to approach the conversation with confidence, but what are some things I can say to make sure he doesn’t suggest a breakup? I really don’t want things to end this way.
—Anonymous
Time to Meet Halfway,
You deserve someone who will understand your perspective. Start an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend to explain how his comments affect you.
Listen to his viewpoint, and let him know where you stand with your religious beliefs. Ask for patience and for him to be more accepting.
Tell him that you appreciate how he was raised but that you weren’t raised the same way. He needs to broaden his perspective and understand that not everyone comes from the same place and teachings.
A healthy relationship should be able to withstand this dilemma, so if you learn that it’s something you two can’t overcome, it may be time to move on.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
I’m not attracted to my girlfriend anymore. We used to have hot, kinky sex all the time, but these days, I’m simply not into her. Is there a way to change how I feel, or is this a sign that we need to break up? Also, how do I explain this problem to her without hurting her feelings?
—The Spark Is Gone
Fire Up the Flame,
Though sex shouldn’t be the only thing that keeps a relationship together, it sounds like it’s a deal-breaker for you. But before you make a quick decision to part ways, exhaust all of your avenues to make it work.
Try different ways to make your sex life more exciting, and be honest with her. Though it might not be a conversation she wants to hear, kindly explain how you’re feeling and what you’d like to change.
If things don’t change after that and you’re still feeling discontent, it might be best to move on. Find someone who you’re attracted to inside and outside of the bedroom and who will keep the fire alive.
—Dr. Date
