I have no problem meeting girls when I’m out. We usually will exchange numbers and she seems like she has genuine interest. I’ll take her out, and then she won’t ever call again. This has happened over and over and I’m wondering what I’m doing wrong. Why do they always lose interest after the first date? I’m afraid I may be scaring them off.
Dear Good intentions,
Maybe you need to call yourself Good and boring intentions. To me, it just seems as if you get a case of first-date jitters. Dating can be stressful, and it’s never a natural, casual social encounter.
Everyone will tell you what to do on a first date. Be yourself. Be gracious. Ask her lots of questions. Just listen.
Advice will be full of cliche. But I’ve got a different line of advice for you. Here are some tips on what NOT to do. Don’t freak her out. Don’t talk about marriage. Don’t talk about ex-girlfriends. Definitely don’t talk about Dungeons and Dragons. In fact, you shouldn’t talk at all. Ask her questions, seem interested and you’ll be on your way to first-date bliss.
So, “dateworkia,” for the benefit of Good intentions, here are Dr. Date’s Top 10 things not to say on a first date.
10) Any of the top-10 pickup lines I told you yesterday.
9) “Your sister is so hot.”
8) “Are those real?”
7) “I only split with my girlfriend last week.”
6) “I hope you scream like my sister.”
5) “I hope you scream like my mother.”
4) “Meet my parents.”
3) “God, you’re hot. We’re perfect for each other.”
2) “So, you’re 18, right?”
1) “You’ve gotta check out my frat.”
So, Good intentions, the moral of the story is don’t worry about what to say on dates. Just worry about what NOT to say on dates.
If you’re of the quiet sort, listen to what she has to say, kiss her when the night is over and be a gentleman.
Dear Dr. Date,
I just read your advice for Joe Smith and I have a similar problem, but I’m not sure that advice applies to my situation.
Three weeks ago, a group of customers walked into the toy store I work at; one of the ladies I’ve sworn I’ve seen somewhere before. I found out she goes here to the U and suggested she looked familiar when they came up to pay, but said nothing else along that line until they left. Then I realized the opportunity I missed.
This isn’t isolated though. Since junior year in high school, my life has been littered with screw-ups and missed chances. Now here I sit in my senior year and half a year away from my expected graduation date and the world seems to be collapsing around me.
I tried getting involved in activities outside of class, but the clubs I joined aren’t exactly conducive of attracting women. I attempted to actively search, but had this blow up in my face so many times I ceased 21 months ago. My friends and family suggest that I should focus heavily on getting my education out of the way first, but how do I keep motivated to do my class work if I seriously doubt I have a future worth fighting for?
It’s not that I’ve lost interest; I’ve just lost hope. Here I am overworked as a consequence of becoming an officer in all the clubs I’m in while my grades are falling and I have little faith that things around the next corner are going to be any brighter.
Will I find the person I’ve been looking for and together live the life I’ve only dreamed of or will I remain here exercising my engineering skills with Legos while all that I knew vanishes from sight?
With restraint (believe it or not),
Dear Wordy Nerd,
Well, aren’t you a cess pool of negativity.
After plugging your name into my M.A.S.H. computer program, I have determined that you will live a fantastic life.
You will live in a mansion, marry Katie Holmes, drive a little red Corvette, have seven children and a dog. But in an odd turn of events, your engineering degree won’t work out for you. Instead, you will be a janitor at a nursing home.
If you want to live the life you only dream of, you will have to take matters into your own hands. No, Wordy Nerd, not that way.
You need to get the courage to ask these fine ladies out. It’s time to get out of the toy store and into the flower shop. Buy these girls some roses, orchids and lilies. Be a man, damn it, and start getting some confidence.
If you want to build long-lasting relationships with girls, you need to start building friendships with the opposite sex. You talked about missed opportunities. Use those as a lesson for the future. Always find something to say to a girl when that awkward moment arrives. But don’t be disheartened. We don’t go to a small school in the middle of nowhere where everyone gets hitched by the time they graduate. There are tons of girls out there looking for someone just like you.
Who brings Legos to college anyway? Get away from building more toys and start building your dream house out of bricks.
Dear Dr. Date,
My friend has been with her boyfriend for almost a year now, but she has this little voice in the back of her head that she told me about.
The story is that two summers ago, she went out with this guy for about three months and found out that he was cheating on her so she broke up with him. Well, a few days ago she found out that he really didn’t from the girl that he was supposedly with, but really wasn’t.
When they started to go out again she was unsure if she wanted to be with him because of that incident, well one thing lead to another and she cheated on him and felt sad about it but in a way felt like it was an opportunity to get back at him, to call it even.
Now that she knows that he really didn’t cheat on her in the first place, she doesn’t know whether to tell him about it or just leave it alone because they are in love now. What should I tell my friend?
-Concerned and loving friend
Dear Concerned and loving friend,
This little tale spells out disaster.
You better hope this guy is like Jesus, because it’s gonna take a lot of forgiving for this thing to work.
Your friend should have evaluated the situation before she even thought about starting something up with this guy again.
Cheating on someone to get even is never a good idea – especially when you don’t have all the facts.
Your friend obviously feels guilty about what she did. If this guilt will eat away at her until the relationship is over, then she might as well tell him about her infidelity right away. But if she doesn’t think her guilt will affect the relationship in the end, she should think carefully about telling him what happened.