Shave and a haircut…

“Just a little off the sides,” Elmo suggested. It was his first time in a real French salon “Don’t worry, dahling. Aii doo dis fer a Laaaaving!” the stylist said. “Frankly, that’s what scares me,” Elmo answered. The stylist gave a patronizing laugh, then began snipping away. “Hey, Jeff Gordon. Going a little fast there, aren’t we?” Elmo crouched away from the massive scissors. The stylist changed the subject. “Hue know, da wetter man says today and Friday will be 40, wit only a tiny tiniest chance of snow or rain.” “Yeah, well, just don’t whack it all off,” Elmo retorted. The stylist whipped his chair around to the mirror. “There. Is done.” Elmo sat expressionless for a few seconds. “Never mind. Go ahead and give me the flat-top.”