Editor’s Note: This is the time in the quarter where we like to slow things down a bit and coast into finals.
Finals week is usually a very stressful time for students, and thus we students might get the urge to do things we wouldn’t normally do throughout the quarter; things that go beyond procrastination techniques; things that might even be considered illegal and land us in jail — though a night in jail might not sound so bad when compared to cramming for a final.
Although the Daily does not condone the use of violence to solve University problems, we realize how even “I’m-a-lover-not-a-fighter” students would just love to pull out a can of Whupass once in awhile. Whether taking anger out physically on someone or something is considered wrong or not doesn’t matter in this issue; it’s just darn funny.
Ý la primetime Fox-TV, this issue lets students make believe they get to kick the crap out of the University bureaucracy, among other things. Why? Because it feels good, doesn’t it? Besides, since the days of the Roman empire, people have just loved to see brutality. We are just giving the readers what they want — at least what we think they need: a punching bag. Mike Tyson, we know how you feel, bud; sometimes it’s rough being out of the ring.
My sophomore year, my roomates and I used to vent our angers and frustrations with school by playing a little potatoball on the street. Potatoball consists of one person pitching a potato at a person with a bat. The potato serves as an evil thing currently involved with college life that might be getting on one’s nerves. The batter tries to hit the potato as it is chucked toward the plate. If the batter connects, “Woohoo! Take that you evil potato. No more little potato. What’s the matter potato … you can’t fight back? Your momma isn’t here to help you. What, you want some more, punk? Take that, you moldy potato,” etc. If the batter misses, one just picks up the potato and chucks it again. “You can’t hide, potato.”
Feel’s good, doesn’t it?
Perhaps everyone needs some mashed potatoes once in awhile. If you like tomatoes, go ahead. The point is we need to let our frustrations out before they overcome us inside.
For this issue, we give every student permission to be a lover and a fighter. How’s that for a rÇsumÇ padder?
For those students who didn’t come here to pad a rÇsumÇ or get a degree, but came to drink some beer and kick a little ass: get ready, looks like the fraternities are almost out of beer.
Some of the photos in this issue contain staged acts or are manipulated. Many of the names and quotes in the articles are made up, so as not to damage anyone’s reputation as a sane human being.
Peace.
— Nick Doty