Dear Dr. Date, I’ve been with my boyfriend for around nine months. At the start of the relationship, he was very eager to perform oral sex and manual stimulation on me but preferred if I would not do those things for him. We did not have sex. Then he let me do those things to him and for a while we were doing fine. Then, he stopped the oral sex and manual stuff for me, but I kept on doing them for him.
I didn’t know why he stopped but it made me pretty insecure. I kept on doing them for him, thinking that he would realize he was being a jerk. He didn’t realize this, so the other day I got so sick of it we got into a fight over it. It was very embarrassing. I felt weird demanding that he pleasure me when it has always come natural with other boys. He said he didn’t know why he doesn’t want to do those things anymore. I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me physically, but he insisted that wasn’t it, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with me down there.
Do you have any idea why he might just stop doing this? It’s so frustrating to kiss your boyfriend but know that’s about as far as it’s going to go! It really hurts my feelings. I know I am the first real relationship he’s been in, and he hasn’t really been physical with other girls besides me. We have a good relationship otherwise. However, one thing that really bothers me is that he refuses to meet my parents. Do you think that this means he is immature because he can’t make sacrifices? ANY help will be much appreciated! Thank you!
— Missing It

Could there possibly be a parallel between your parents and your genitals? Both represent a fairly big step in a relationship. He might not be ready to make either step because he is either not ready for such a commitment or he’s not ready to make such a commitment with you.
These inactions of his might be his way of telling you he wants out of the relationship. Of course, they might also be unrelated. There are a couple reasons why he might have stopped pleasuring you. The first is that he never really liked it, but thought he’d give it a try, or perhaps he thought he was doing you a favor. Another possibility is that your genitals have a bad taste or smell. This might be difficult to determine unless he tells you. The other boys didn’t mind, so what’s his problem?
Still another possibility is that your reaction wasn’t what he had expected. If you aren’t reaching orgasm from his oral and finger stimulation, he might have become frustrated and quit.
Perhaps you should break up and come to my mixer this Friday at the Weisman.