Network: normal ITer; HITMAN; Pinky, Bunky, and Co.; Tscheuss

>From normal ITer

I am proud to say that I am a normal Iter. I am still here because of partial credit and my TI-89. I live by the creedo, “C’s get degrees.” I am fine with the fact that I will probably end up working for a county highway department or MNDOT – CLAers, thats Minnesota Department of Transportation. Seems to me that both of them will be hard to outsorce. Net: Yeah, nobody’s got sorcerers like MNDOT. Anyway, I do own a pink polo shirt and wear it with no problem. I will drink anyone under the table and still pull a C- on my Fluid Mechanics exam. Net: That sounds vaguely obscene. You could say I’m getting pretty serious with her but I’m really just TO’d because she hasn’t sent me any full body shots yet. Net: Right, Kip. All of you CLAers are just jealous of us ITers because we’ve been chatting on line with babes all day. If I were you, I would be nice to the IT kids because they are the ones that desgin pretty much everything that you use in your normal lives – wouldn’t want a faulty spatula now would we? It is weird to think that in a couple years, we will have your ex-Cosmo Girlfriends/ex-GQ boyfriends because they have realized that a psych degree won’t get you anywhere! Holler back one time, YA HEARD ME! Net: Poorly-used slang won’t get you anywhere either.

From HITMAN

I have a dilemma: A good friend of mine likes to dip his french fries in soy sauce. I know this may have been admissable where ever he came from, but he doesn’t understand that it’s just not culturally acceptable here. How can I rid him of this disgusting habit? Net: You know what they put on french fries in Holland? Mayonnaise.

From Pinky, Bunky, and Co.

Well there is something we have been meaning to address… Once upon a time there was the quiet block of 5th Ave SE that was until Sept 1 2004, and the New Kids On the Block decided to move in (Minus Jordan Knight, who is currently busy with the Surreal Life). Don’t get me wrong, we love the new kids (except for maybe the weird guys who insist men have uteruses), but last week a THEFT occured from our yard when NKOTB decided to throw a kegger nextdoor. Our beautiful plastic pink flamingo disspeared that night, it had been perched all summer long in our yard. Now it is bad enough that the other beautiful Wal-Mart flamingo we had purchased blew away in a thunderstorm, but with the other one gone as well we are beside ourselves wondering its fate… Did our pink friend meet his demise that night? Is it perched as a trophy on someone’s mattel somehwere? Or did some sick NUTT turn our friend into a “Labongo” as they are called? We can only wonder! If you have seen this beautiful flamingo, please do the right thing…you know the yard…return it..we are holding on to our last hope… Net: Y’all need a life more than another damn flamingo.

From Tschuess

Hey net what’s the slice? This year is off to a great start and even though the weather is turning a little colder, I hope all the gorgeous women on campus don’t transfer to Arizona like every other year. I have to mention one thing, though, last night while out on the dinkytown a friend and I attempted to crash a sorority party that looked hoppin. I don’t remember what sorority it was, but it was definately not full of the brightest ladies on campus. They were throwing a party to benefit the American heart association by selling . . . here’s the ticker . . . french fries!! Maybe next week they should hand out cigarettes at their lung association bash. And people wonder why the Greek system isn’t that popular on campus. I think i’ll join Hillel instead. Net: Weren’t they the ones selling pepperoni Hot Pockets to benefit the IDF?