In search of a party

Columnist David Brooks will be visiting Minneapolis this week.

Conservative New York Times columnist David Brooks will be visiting Minneapolis this Tuesday, hosted by the University of St. Thomas. While earning his degree from the University of Chicago, Brooks wrote a parody of conservative William Buckley Jr. that was published in the college newspaper. Prior to visiting the campus that same week, Buckley picked up on the parody and helped Brooks launch his career in journalism. Brooks is the author of âÄúBobos In Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There,âÄù and he has contributed to the Wall Street Journal, Washington Times and Newsweek. Today, along with guest columnist and political activist Mike Ramlet, I will attempt a parody of my own on Brooks to precede his visit to Minneapolis, just as he did over two decades ago. Our story begins in the summer of 1961. David Starbucks Brooks was born to Joe and John LieberMcCain as the third and middle child in his family. Described as a sensible young man, Brooks often found himself sitting on fences outlining his property in rural Montana, pondering the political and social questions of his day. It wasnâÄôt until he reached his late teens that Brooks embarked on a lifelong journey across the country to pursue his real passion: trout fly-fishing. Brooks came across a trout stream in Bobo, Wyo., that he found particularly fascinating. Waders on and pole in hand, Brooks ventured into the waters hoping to be enlightened with common American sentiment to use in the publications for which he had been hired to write. He slowly realized society had begun to renounce their thoughtful reflection that had made the previous generation in this country so famous. Brooks went to the east coast to pursue a management career with REI stores, specializing in fulfilling customersâÄô needs for adventuresome feelings without actually pursuing adventure. Brooks later pursued a passionate agenda of activism for the lobbying group âÄúGuns DonâÄôt Kill People, People Do,âÄù fighting against a proposed assault weapons ban in Congress. In his spare time, he went door to door distributing pamphlets for the pro-same-sex marriage amendment in California. Threatened by northeastern deforestation caused by Republican-owned lumber companies, he came to the conclusion it was time to also support cap-and-trade. After learning the ropes of lobbying, Brooks decided to settle on a full-time career in middle-of-the-road journalism. While ordering a meal at a traditional fast food establishment, Brooks could not decide between the roast beef or ham and instead held up the line for 25 minutes in hope a third option would present itself. It was then that he concluded he could write columns that all Democrats loved and that appeased moderate Republicans. In writing, Brooks was inspired by the underground movement of then-GOP Sen. Arlen Specter to switch parties and decided the East Coast lifestyle may not have been his cup of latte. Unable to find his niche in the Republican movement of the East Coast, West Coast or Deep South, Brooks came to the Midwest in search of a party. Confounded by his education from the University of Chicago and fascination with the Ivy League, Brooks has overlooked the Big Ten schools of the Midwest as a source of feedback on his âÄúborn to be wildâÄù theories. Brooks met with University of Minnesota students recently declined from the Ivy League, unable to comprehend their denial of societyâÄôs acceptance of the Ivy League lifestyle. He also discovered these students to work twice as hard as their Ivy counterparts. A proud Toyota Prius owner, Brooks recommends an effort to return to modern mediocre living, while currently residing in a comfortable living community in Bethesda, Md. In search of the perfect trout stream, Brooks has returned to Minnesota: the birthplace of the mighty Mississippi. Rather than charge for his speeches, Brooks simply requests that a statue of Alexander Hamilton be constructed in his honor at each location he attends; he will not accept fees, only bronze versions of Alexander Hamilton. Now a renowned psychologist, Brooks will meet with 15 neuroscientists in the Minneapolis area during his visit to Minnesota. He is hopeful this will create enough material for four more monthsâÄô worth of columns. In his continued focus on outliers, Brooks has once again decided to partner with author Malcolm Gladwell and embark on a national book tour, starting on the University of Minnesota campus. Brooks has also accepted a position with Gov. Sarah Palin. If the governor should ever forget to embrace the Republican views on education and social issues, Brooks will be by her side to remind her. In all seriousness, Brooks will speak at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday night at Orchestra Hall, hosted by the University of St. Thomas Opus College of Business. Brooks will speak on âÄúThe Age of ObamaâÄù and will bring an interesting perspective to current issues America is facing and will continue to face. Brooks, like many of us, is not committed to party identity before issue identity. Although we may disagree on some of these specific policies, Brooks can indeed serve as a role model in the capacity of bridging the political divide that has crippled progress on issues that really matter. As the school year comes to a close, this will be my last column with The Minnesota Daily. With that in mind, I know there is an upcoming group of intelligent writers on both sides of the aisle that will continue the remarkable political discourse that has taken place in this publication over the past several years. Republican or Democrat, moderate or apathetic, we can all rally around one idea: The future of America and its progress is in our hands. Get involved, be informed and never take for granted your ability to do both of those things freely and fairly. Godspeed. Andy Post welcomes comments at [email protected] Mike Ramlet, a management student at the University, contributed to this column.