Dear Dr. Date, Eve…

Dear Dr. Date,
Everything was fine in the beginning. We even called ourselves “Three’s Company.” Now “Three’s a Crowd” and we want the third out! The funny thing is, we still don’t even like her now that she does flush (She was the topic of a previous letter.) Sometimes when I see her walking around the house I can feel these terrible feelings of dislike for her.
She hardly showers. She doesn’t know how to really wash the dishes (not just soak and dry), mop the floor or scrub the shower. I guess she just has a cleanliness problem. We’re hoping she’ll move out, but as far as we’ve heard, she thinks things are going to be the same next year. Even though we don’t like her and want her out, we aren’t mean enough to actually tell her to her face. How do we let her know? We would rather not move, but if we have to we will. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to hold back and not smash her head into the door the next time she doesn’t lock it at night.
Oh, and one more thing, if she throws our wet shoes in our bedroom one more time …
— Disgruntled (ex-postal worker) Roommate

Is this a dating question? Did this situation start out as a sexual threesome? I’m only presuming such because you sent your letter to me and I’m a dating advice columnist. I suppose that being roommates (sexual or otherwise) constitutes a relationship that is vulnerable to the same problems lovers might encounter. In fact, the problems romantic couples have when they decide to move in with each other have are just the same old pet peeves everyone has with their roommates.
This is where leases and the innate human ability to lie become convenient for nondaters (lovers have to communicate). Unless you signed one of those super six-year leases, you should be able to put up with her annoyances until the end of your lease. At that point, simply move somewhere else with people you like.
But as always, let’s step back and look at the larger picture of your life. Quickly, we can see that there are several areas you as an individual need to work on. First is your ability to properly choose people that share your zeal for cleanliness and household safety. Second is your passive- aggressive style of communicating your desires — fuming to me is fine, but explaining to her would be better.
To all of you who are entering serious relationships, pay attention to these problems because awesome sex and light-headed infatuation can only prevent these problems from surfacing for so long. Be ready for them by learning early on to communicate what makes you cranky. Very few people can actually read minds.