>Dr. Date,
I am writing to you about my friend “JoJo.” She has a huge crush on one of her guy friends, “Mark,” and can’t stop talking about him. She met him last year through another friend of hers and has been crushing on him since. He is always flirting with her, leading her on and hinting at spending more time with her.
Now, as JoJo’s best friend, I don’t want her to get hurt. Mark tends to attract the ladies and likes to flirt with them. How can I help my friend with her long-time crush? Is Mark into her, or is she just getting her heart crushed by him? How can she be sure about his feelings for her?
– Friend looking out for a Friend
Dear Friend looking out for a Friend,
JoJo either needs to make a play for this guy or move on. It’s seriously time to forget about a relationship with Mark because he’s probably not going to make a move if he hasn’t already.
You say they’ve known each other for a year. That seems like a long time for him to want to start something up. They’ve already established a comfortable friendship.
If they had only known each other for a month or so, then the flirting could mean more. But you say that he attracts the ladies, so I think that flirting and leading girls on are probably just part of his personality.
The best way that you could help JoJo is to go and talk to Mark yourself. Feel him out to see if he has any feelings for JoJo. Don’t let Mark know that she’s crushing on him, just casually bring up the topic of JoJo with him and see if you can pick up on any clues that show he might be interested.
The big thing to remember is not to tell JoJo that you’re having this conversation with Mark. If she knows, then she’ll want all the details of the little chat. If you find that he doesn’t want to hook up with her then you can try to find creative ways to get her mind off Mark.
But it really seems to me as if nothing is ever going to happen romantically between the two of them. Take JoJo out and help her find some new studs that aren’t going to lead her on the way Mark is.
– Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
How do you get a girl to notice you even though you’re just an average guy?
What do they want and are they that superficial?
– Don’t Know
Dear Don’t Know,
Girls do like average guys. They’re the guys that they’ll take home and introduce to their parents.
Parents usually don’t want to see their precious little princess come home with a Harley-riding, leather-jacket wearing, pierced and tattooed rough rider.
Moms and dads want their girls to bring home those nice guys who will not only make their daughters happy, but that they won’t be afraid to introduce to their card clubs.
So, Dateworkia, here are the Top 10 ways to get a girl to notice you:
10) Mention to one of her friends that you might like her. Girls gossip.
9) Leave a mysterious note, such as “you’re cute,” in her backpack, on her desk or in her mailbox.
8) Buy her diamonds.
7) Flip your collar up, and she’ll definitely notice what a great guy you are – just think of “The Fonz.”
6) Be a klutz and fall down in front of her. She’ll extend her hand to help. Ooh, contact.
5) Give her a mix compact disc of all the songs that remind you of her.
4) Wear your high school letter jacket to show how cool you were and how many sports you played.
3) Duct tape yourself – upside down – to her front door. Aside from the shock of finding you on her door in the morning, she’ll have to wonder how you managed to do it in the first place.
2) Shower.
1) Drop your pants.
Good luck.
– Dr. Date
Dear Dr. Date,
I met a boy when I was home for the summer. We started out as friends and then one thing lead to the next and blah, blah, blah Ö you know all the rest. We had a casual relationship. He was never my “boyfriend” or I his “girlfriend.”
When I started seeing him I saw it as purely fun, but now that the summer’s past and I’ve left, I miss the guy.
He really surprised me two weeks into school when, spur of the moment, he decided to come visit me, leaving his home at 2 a.m. and driving the 6 hours to see me. He stayed for less than 24 hours, just enough time for me to slip in the “So what does this mean?” “Do you like me?” questions. I remember him saying, “Well of course I like you, I wouldn’t have driven all this way if I didn’t.”
That was six weeks ago, and now all I get are sporadic phone calls and text messages. Another guy asked me out, a really great guy, but for some reason I can’t get “Summer Boy” out of my head. He says he has no money and is very busy with work but wants to come see me again.
What’s his deal? Is he worth waiting for or is he just not that into me?
– Sleepless in Minneapolis
Dear Sleepless in Minneapolis,
It appears to me that you need to trash this “Summer Boy,” and give this nice guy a chance.
You say that “Summer Boy” sometimes contacts you. Are you obsessive and sending him text messages and calling him all the time? Do you call after you’ve had a few drinks and drunk-dial him?
These are not good signs.
You must have had a fun time together when you were back home to leave such a lasting impression, but I have to wonder how long you were seeing him before you came back to school.
If it was only a few weeks, then chances are you didn’t set any sort of relationship standards. You aren’t exclusive, and you shouldn’t feel bad for pursuing another guy while he’s back home.
You need to re-evaluate the reasons you’re so fond of this guy. Do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever he’s around? Do you talk about him constantly with your friends?
Even if you answer “yes” to these questions, what does he feel? Would he say “yes” to the same things? And if so, why doesn’t he contact you often?
If a guy truly likes you, he’ll find a way to talk to you on a regular basis. He’ll call, he’ll e-mail, he’ll text message and he won’t make excuses why he can’t come visit you.
Drop the dud, and find a nice guy whom you can spend time with, who lives within 20 minutes of you.
– Dr. Date
