Moore mature, Moore humane Michael Moore

The following is a work of fiction. All resemblance to real people, documents or events is purely incidental, except where obviously not

Michael Garberich

We found the following document in our mailbox when we arrived at the office Monday morning after the opening weekend of Michael Moore’s latest documentary, “SiCKO.”

The envelope was a plain, white security envelope sealed with three pieces of Scotch tape on the back flap. It bore no address, neither for destination nor for return. A green stamp with a picture of the top half of the Statue of Liberty was affixed to the upper right hand corner, again with tape. The only markings read “ATTN: CONCERNED,” handwritten in all-caps in black felt tip. We don’t know why this all came in paper instead of electronically, but companies do tend to tightly monitor their e-mail accounts.

The document came to us censored. Except for necessary formatting for print, we reproduce it here, in its entirety, as it came.

A facsimile is available as a .pdf on our Web site.


FROM: Michael B. McCallister,
TO: All
DATE: 06/25/2007
SUBJECT: Michael Moore’s “Sicko” likely to effect patient/client curiosity, questions, distress


Hello everybody. I hope these words find you in good health today.

Next Friday, June 29th, documentary filmmaker Michael Moore’s latest movie, “SiCKO,” will open in theaters across the country.

David Jones, Jr. and I attended a preview screening offered by the movie’s distributor, The Weinstein Company, this past Saturday, June 23.

As you may well know, Mr. Moore’s film takes a suspect look at the United State’s healthcare system, including several Health Management Organizations. Humana, Inc. is among the many companies under investigation, and his appraisal of our company’s work is unduly negative.

One well-known instance is Dr. Linda Peeno’s much-publicized testimony before Congress in 1996. Dr. Linda Peeno served Humana as a former medical reviewer. Her testimony initially caused a great deal of ethical concern regarding HMO’s practices, both within the medical community and throughout clientele.

However, the incident also provided us at Humana an opportunity to improve our practices and adapt to new legislation. It will also prove to have afforded us valuable experience in managing our clientele’s concerns, as we anticipate Mr.

Moore’s movie will produce many similar reactions.

Human Resources is creating a list of FAQ’s regarding questions and concerns you might encounter from clientele. You can expect the list in your inbox by early this afternoon.

Below is a bulleted list of broad topics covered in the movie that the FAQ will explore in greater detail:

ï Comparisons between lifestyles in the United States, Canada, Great Britain, France and Cuba, as well as a visit to Guantanamo Bay in relation to national health care. The United States is shown unfavorable in each comparison. HR has created a list of facts, statistics and historical requisites to explain |these differences not disclosed in Mr. Moore’s movie.

ï “Horror” stories from potential clients denied coverage. Cases include: a denied marrow transplant; digit reattachment; various denials due to the experimental status of an operation, including the cochlear ear implant of a young girl (ultimately overturned). HR gives the rundown of legal precedents and their explanations ignored or misrepresented “Sicko.”

ï Suspected lobbying between lobbyist groups and politicians. For instance, PhRMA and Hillary

Clinton. HUMANA IS NOT A LOBBYIST GROUP, NOR IS IT AFFILIATED WITH ONE. IT HAS NO INVOLVEMENT WITH NATIONAL POLITICS. HR provides myriad differences so you can better convey them to clientele.

Feel free to contact HR if you have any questions or suggestions not initially covered. Or if you have any personal issues you’d like to discuss, we have allotted individual counsel sessions with HR to ensure your complete understanding and confidence.

Good health and a good day,

Michael B. McCallister
President & CEO
Humana, Inc.