Dear Dr. Date, Oka…

Dear Dr. Date,
Okay, I have a problem and could use your help. Well, actually, it is not my problem, it is more my boyfriend’s problem. We have been together for quite some time and we just had sex for the first time. It was good, but nothing to write home about. First off, his penis is well … small. I have, of course, noticed before but I love him too much for it to be an actual issue in our relationship. That would be completely ridiculous and superficial. But, now that we are sexually active, it is somewhat of an issue.
I don’t know how to go about handling the situation. I’m not about to say, “Sorry honey, but you’re just not doing it for me.” I, in no way, want to make him feel self-conscious or anything, but I would like to be satisfied also. So, can you give some pointers on how to go about handling this problem?

— Unsatisfied
It’s nice of you that you do not want your boyfriend to feel self-conscious, but, with this letter, you’ve now made every boyfriend on campus self-conscious. You have a few options on how to approach this problem.
The first solution is to give yourself more time with this man and his smallish penis. Even if you’ve had great sex with other people, it’s likely that the first few times you try to have sex won’t go that well. From your letter it sounds like you’ve only had sex once. You probably weren’t that good either! Just because he came doesn’t mean he had a great time. Guys ejaculate in their sleep. Have sex again and see how it goes. Generally, the more you get to know a person sexually, the more interesting the sex becomes.
The second option is to deal with it and be thankful that you have a loving relationship. Great sex involves more than just a big penis. I understand that you’d like him to have a larger penis, but that won’t always be the answer to your problems. A good relationship can make up for lackluster sex, but good sex cannot save a bad relationship. There’s also more to sex than penile-vaginal penetration. Try concentrating on the other areas of sex.
The third option is to dump him and move on to someone else. You say that you love him very much, but you also sound like you want to throw up when you think of having sex with him again. Look, this life is yours. You are not beholden to this man. If you aren’t getting what you want or need from him, then perhaps the two of you aren’t right for each other. It won’t be the end of the world for either of you to move on and find people who are a good fit.

(Question: Does penis size matter to you? Let me know.)