Net: We’ve got sun…

Net: We’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day. And when it’s cold outside, we’ve got the month of May. But the cold has gone because May is here, everyone, and we’ve got sweeter songs than the birds in the trees. Too bad all of today’s notes are sour.
WE FEEL PRETTY, SO PRETTY
From A Curiously Upset College Student: I was very appalled today when I opened the Daily and saw a picture of gay couples kissing, not to mention the explicit acts going on at Coffman with Kubista and Ferguson dressed up like queens/kings. Why does the Daily encourage such lewd behavior? Net: Hey — we just cover it. I really don’t appreciate seeing perverted acts like this going on. Net: We’re sure there are some nice copies of “The Watchtower” that are readily accessible. I was glad I wasn’t around the Queer Cultural Center while this disgusting freak show was happening, (and I’m sure many others were glad as well), so why not keep stuff like that private?
I really don’t care what people decide to do with their spare time, but don’t bring disgusting things like that into my personal space. Kubista and Ferguson do not reflect an image that I want represented at the U of M. Because of what they did and do, they lost the respect and votes of many fellow students including myself.

From Just Want to Study: I am getting sick and tired of seeing all these rallies on campus for gay groups on parade in their drag outfits, lip-syncing to trendy songs, while adoring fans trade dollars for kisses OR being subjected to cheering demonstrators participating in passionate gay kiss-offs while I’m trying to enjoy the great weather while doing homework on the Mall. Net: And we’re sick of incredibly convoluted sentences! Take a deep breath …
I find it offensive to watch any couple, heterosexual or homosexual, fervently making out in public. I’m all for love and passion, but there is a time and a place! I also tire of the constant tirade of do-gooders trying to push their religion and get you to attend their churches.
I must clarify that I have absolutely no aversions to people choosing to be gay or people being proud of their religion. Net: Sorry. Your late defense won’t be enough to avert the flames. I myself believe in God and have friends who are gay (however they are more tactful than French kissing in public).
I understand that these groups have every legal or moral right to have these demonstrations, yet I find it frustrating trying to concentrate on homework without having to hole up in a corner of the library. I thought schools were supposed to be a place for higher learning. I just wish these people would exercise a bit more couth and tact when deciding to do these rallies.
Can’t we just have a school where we can all get through our required courses to graduate and experience these demonstrations elsewhere? Net: Any suggested places? Well, there’s the Mall of America …

WE SMELL BACON
From Better Than Brian: This is in response to the some of the marchers who were at Take Back The Night. I was there, marching with everyone, doing the chants, spreading the word about sexual violence and how it must end. Net: Unfortunately, that is a controversial topic in some quarters.
There were police officers escorting us along the way, acting as crossing guards and allowing us to march the wrong way down Fraternity Row. I thought what they were doing was wonderful. They most certainly didn’t have to do that for us. Net: No, they didn’t, and frankly, we’ve spoken with several cops, and they all wonder why there aren’t more people speaking out about sexual violence. They’re really not into the 911s, if you know what we mean.
So there we are, about to cross Washington, on our way to University. The officers are a few feet from us, allowing us to cross in front of traffic.
Everyone’s chanting “Ha ha, ho ho, sexual assault has got to go.”
Suddenly, in front of those good officers, several people behind me changed the chant to “Ha ha, ho ho, police brutality has got to go.” Net: Classy. I was mortified. I could not believe that those girls, (and a few guys) would so abuse and mock the officers that were working for us to help spread the word about sexual violence. Net: Some people have just never had to make their own beds.
I was thoroughly ashamed of all of them, and had to bite my tongue not to tell them off then and there. Net: Maybe you shouldn’t have. No, it wouldn’t have worked. If they had brains, they wouldn’t have done it. But now, I must say it. That was simply wrong. The guilty persons were going against everything, all the good we were trying to accomplish, by making us appear a mockery, and ungrateful for the people who were helping. I plan on attending again next year, and I truly hope that I will not have to listen to that ever again.
FEELIN’ BLUE OVER BLUE
From Mr. Hyde: Greetings, ye gods and demons of Network! I too have a problem with the FFA — read on, however, for it is not what you think. Net: And what did you think we were thinking. Hey — we’re the rational people around here. As much as I’d love to respond to the Angel of Cynicism, Cauchy, or Vicarina Tutu and spend the next week exchanging generalizations and stereotypes that, I’m sure, will amuse and better us all (whew!!!), my problem is completely unrelated. I’m severely bothered by uniforms. Not FFA’s specifically, but any LARGE number of people (in the same general area) that are dressed the same way (see military, secret service, preppies) Net: Ravers — we had to add. Is anyone else bothered by such a congregation? As easy as it is to confuse similar dress with similar personality (yes, you know who I’m talking to), we must avoid this particular problem.
Before you know it, we will be assuming skin color has something to do with personality, and who knows where we’d be then (ooops!). So, I urge you, put aside your differences and COME ON PEOPLE!!! (Knock yourselves out Network, you’ve earned it!) Net: Smile! This is CNN.
Thank you, and good night!