Dr. Date: Apprehensive in amor; Hopeless crush; Wondering how to help

>Dr. Date,

My girlfriend and I have the most perfect relationship. Ever.

But, you know they say if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. SoÖWhat’s wrong with my relationship?

Apprehensive in amor

Dear Apprehensive in amor,

The problem with your relationship is you’re paranoid. You’re kind of a drama queen.

Every relationship has problems, and it’s good that you’re not expecting yours to remain perfect. But if you create a problem out of nothing, your relationship will be in a sorry state when a real crisis arises.

If you have been dating for a while and you think everything is going well, why question it? It seems to me that your relationship is solid, but it’s going to quickly melt away if you continue believing that something is going to go wrong.

I tell people to analyze their relationships a lot, but in your case, I think you need to just let things be.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

I have a friend I have been interested in for awhile. A couple months back she told me she just wanted to be friends, and it’s been tough to do that since then.

What are some tips you have for separating yourself from attraction and moving back to your normal friendship? And is that “I just want to be friends” a closed door forever? One part of me says to just give it all I’ve got, but when is it finally time to give up and move on?

Hopeless crush

Dear Hopeless crush,

Back in my medical school days, I was in a similar situation with a friend. After being best friends for more than three years, my friend wanted to add something else to the relationship.

I wasn’t OK with it and considered our relationship too valuable to take a chance with. My friend understood. Two years later, we’re still best friends and my friend is engaged to someone else.

Conventional wisdom says that guys and girls can’t just be friends. If you have a close relationship with a member of the opposite sex, there’s a good chance that one of you is crushing on the other.

Although my friend and I still joke about our “almost” relationship, I believe that if you find someone else to be attracted to, you can maintain your friendship. I don’t believe that guys are only friends with girls they are attracted to.

But if you think she’d be receptive to your advances, go for it. Let her know how you feel. The best thing you can do is make sure she understands where you’re coming from.

Don’t give her some lame ultimatum, such as “I don’t think this relationship can continue as is.” If you tell her that you have feelings for her and she just wants to be friends, make sure she knows that you want to remain friends no matter what her response. A good friend will be forgiving.

Dr. Date

Hey Dr. Date

My roommate is a freshman and lost his virginity to this big slut the second day he knew her while he was drunk.  Now she fools around with a bunch of other guys all the time and my roommate knows it. 

He said he came to college so he’d get laid but now he doesn’t like the attachment to this girl since she treats him so bad.  I think he wants to break away but still feels that attachment.  What do I tell the poor guy?

Wondering how to help

Dear Wondering how to help,

Falling into the trap of easy action will only come back to bite you in the ass. You can always find “big sluts” and big “man whores” on college campuses. Your roommate snatched up this opportunity too quickly, I think.

Luckily, it doesn’t sound as if your roommate feels too attached to this girl. You say he doesn’t like the attachment to this girl, so he should run away while he can.

If he was drunk and slept with this girl, chances are she doesn’t realize that there’s an “attachment” at all. Unless they’ve talked about being an item, she probably doesn’t consider him more than a one-night conquest.

So, if she’s been sleeping around with other guys, make sure he asks her what’s up. If he’s not attached to her, tell him to get rid of her.

The first person you sleep with while drunk at college should not be the person you end up with.

Dr. Date