“Find yourself” in Europe? Pssh, just better yourself at home!

A&E’s definitive guide to keeping entertained at home and/or in prison

by Ian Power

Lazy as balls? DonâÄôt feel like going anywhere or doing anything for spring break? DonâÄôt feel like doing anything ever? A&E has got you covered with these guides on how to get sort of good at something in 10 days. Learn To Play Harmonica Whether you consider yourself a Sonny Boy Williamson or a Snooky Pryor, blues harp is not something you will be able to master in one spring break. You could, however, give yourself an introduction to the instrument with an intense regimen of daily practice during the vacation. 1. Buy either a Chromatic or Diatonic Harmonica. If you buy a Diatonic one, you must choose a key. 2. Become accustomed to the instrument by voicing each note independently. Play with lip movement and use your tongue; a solid grasp on the harmonica may lead to other oral gifts. 3. Put on a blues or rock âÄònâÄô roll album and attempt to play along. Something along the lines of The Yardbirds, Howlin Wolf or Canned Heat will work well. If you are using a Chromatic, find the key; with a diatonic you have to choose a song that sounds fitting. Learn Esperanto Created by L.L Zamenhof in the late 1800s and long-hated by the Nazis, Esperanto is the most widely spoken of all the constructed languages. It was created from a mélange of different dialects and has long been taught with the idea of uniting the whole world under one mixed tongue. Aside from that, it is proven to render learners smarter, as well as more adept at learning other foreign languages. There are a litany of books and websites on the subject, as well as free instruction via lernu.net. Still skeptical? Here are a few introductory phrases: It is a nice day. Estas bela tago. I love you. Mi amas vin. One beer, please. Uno bieron mi petas. What is your name? Kiel vi nomigas? Get really good at making Friendship bracelets! Feel like macramé-aking something? Something a bit friendship-y? Something bracelet related? A&E knows what youâÄôre thinking. Since the dawn of time, man has longed to express intimacy through cloth wrist jewelry. Friendship bracelets fill the void in our lives once plugged up with drugs and alcohol; they complete us. Whether it be the classic Broken Ladder pattern or the elusive Candystripe, each bracelet pattern has its own unique style. HereâÄôs a guide on how to become really good at making friendship bracelets. 1. In the least creepy way possible, befriend a preteen girl. This is easily done by posing as a volunteer at a neighborhood middle school. Bring jellyroll pens and knowledge of the Jonas Brothers; they will be needed. 2. Once firmly in place as a volunteer, suggest that you all play M.A.S.H. After a few rounds, make an amusing paper fortuneteller; these things are invaluable for gaining trust. 3. Playing to their egos, suggest that you have a sister who is amazing at friendship bracelets. Being naturally competitive, they will immediately want to brag about their own skills by demonstrating them. Observe techniques.