Dear Dr. Date,
Last weekend, my friends and I were at this party and we were very messed up (alcohol, marijuana and ecstasy). Needless to say, we did a lot of stupid things. Well, I am a female, and I ended up in a bed at this party with my best male friend and another woman. We definitely did everything, and afterward my best male friend and I walked back to my place and slept in different rooms. But, I seem to be the only one who remembers the “threesome” happening because the next day he said he didn’t even remember going to the party, and I have no idea who or where the other woman is.
I haven’t brought up the threesome to him yet and I am wondering: A) if he is telling the truth about not remembering it because I was just as messed up as he was and B) if it really meant something because I am very attracted to him and would love a relationship. I obviously can’t get help from my other friends because they’d flip. What should I do?
–Stuck

I find it hard to believe that he wouldn’t remember even going to the party.
I’ve used this lie before when I did something I shouldn’t have done while drunk. It’s a great excuse because it’s not impossible and it can’t really be disproved. Still, you shouldn’t believe a word of it. Part of me thinks you should take him out for a hard cider and tell him point blank what happened. If he still plays like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, add that he wasn’t very good either. That’ll wake him up. Perhaps grossly embellish the story beyond what really happened to see if you can shake the truth out of him. Tell him you did all sorts of crazy things, but it really blew your mind when he performed oral sex on himself. Since he doesn’t remember anything, you can just make up a name for the third member of your party and he’ll have to believe it. Use her as your witness: “Amber and I could not believe it!”
I know you feel quite awkward, but you really are in a position of power here. If your goal is to be closer to this guy, you shouldn’t feel shy about it now. Events have transpired that should put the two of you at a comfort level not known by most fledgling couples. Since his memory is fuzzy, you might as well start acting like he asked you to go steady that night. Just start holding his hand, kiss him, and say “I’m so glad we talked the other night.”