Dear Dr. Date,I re…

Dear Dr. Date,
I read Tuesday’s letter from Frustrated. Like the wife of Frustrated, I too dated someone with too large of a penis. To be honest with you I ended up feeling like he wanted to impale me rather than have sex. I ended up in kind of a daze. This man allowed me to move in and live with him but he was never home. I was the maid who paid the utility bills.
I also worked on some sexual harassment policy information when I first started at the University and now I never date. I never had enough support to do this and I felt stupid standing up for my rights. I even read that all sex was rape by one of the visitors to the Law School. I’ve read in the Bible that women shouldn’t talk to men. I really am not even sure if a person is supposed to date. Now I don’t know what I’m doing! The guy with the giant-sized penis used to light his anus with a lighter when he passed gas. I would just sort of sit there in a daze. Is this part of Viagra?
I’m afraid to date and be sexual. Any advice?
— Double Dating

Very few letters leave me without anything to say, but, sweetheart, I’m speechless. You seem to have a lot of different things going through your head causing you quite a bit of confusion. I’ll try my best to make sense of your situation.
I’m proud that, in retrospect, you can look back and identify how this man with the large penis was treating you poorly. That’s great. The truth you need to hold on to and never let go is that not all men will treat you that way. There are good men out there with normal-sized penises and a desire to spend time with you. You will have to find them. As is often true with women who date abusive men, you may have a pattern of dating men that aren’t any good for you. This is a serious self-esteem issue that you need to work on so that one day you can identify the rotten apples from the good ones.
On your journey to attaining a healthy respect for yourself you should seek out the advice and assistance of those you trust and admire. While the Bible has some good messages, I don’t think you should use it as your own set of rules regarding dating. A man with a large penis lighting his ass on fire? What would Jesus do?
No, the answers to dating questions come from inside of you. Everyone is different and the process to figuring out who you are starts at home in your mind and soul. Once you figure out who you are and what you want out of life, then you should start searching for the partner that best fits your life. I wish you clarity and courage in this daunting, yet necessary endeavor.