Dr. Date: My boyfriend wants to move home because of COVID-19, but I don’t want him to

How can I convince him to stay in the dorms with me?

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Morgan La Casse

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

The moment my boyfriend and I sat next to each other in the dining hall during Welcome Week, I knew he was the one. Within a few days, we were spending the nights in each other’s singles and by the end of the month had declared our relationship status on Facebook. We moved really fast, but I’ve never regretted a second of it. All of our time is spent together, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

I was looking forward to continuing growing our relationship until the coronavirus hit. Obviously, everything has changed, and my months of happiness with him by my side might now be out of the question. I was planning on staying in my dorm until school is over in May since I still have an on-campus job that hasn’t been canceled yet. But my boyfriend’s parents are begging him to come home, and he’s seriously considering it. The only thing in his way? Me.

Dr. Date, I don’t know what I’d do without him here. We’ve never been apart for more than a few weeks, and he lives a state away. And now I might not see him until September?! He seems really conflicted, and I think I could push him to my side, but I don’t know how. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Stay With Me

Dear Stay With Me,

I get it — relationships can be super amazing, and you never want to leave the person. But this is a very different time, and you shouldn’t be trying to get him “on your side.” I promise that millions are in similar situations, and you’re not alone in struggling, but that doesn’t mean that wanting to stay together is the right choice. Is it awful and horrible and heartbreaking? Yes. But it’s safer for you, him and the rest of the world for you two to stay apart. The dorms in particular are one of the worst places to be right now — though your campus job for some reason hasn’t shut down, I’d be asking if you could work remotely. If you have another option, you should also consider moving back home.

Look on the bright side — a ton of programs to communicate online are available and free! Start figuring out your virtual hangout schedule with your boyfriend now. A lot of the things you do in person can have an online component. Stay on the phone overnight, watch movies together, play video games, order takeout for the other and have a date night — you get the point. There are still ways to maintain your connection without putting others at risk. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Dr. Date