What to throw and what to know

A&E sorts through the garbage to bring you the knowledge

Good Morning, Musketeers and Chiclets. By the looks of those massive faux-Chanel sunglasses and your favorite North Face down jacket, I’m certain that you’ve been adapting well to the Minnesota spring temperatures. However, because that fortune-telling groundhog allegedly saw his shadow last week, I personally would shy away from dawning those super-thin knits, Abercrombie and Fitch flip-flops and minis so soon.

Valentine’s Day, America’s second-favorite commercial holiday, is just a week away. We all know what that means: It’s about time to make a few monumental changes in your life in hopes of scoring a hard-bodied V-day date.

Not only do we have a sweet assortment of ideas to keep that seasonal depression at bay, we’ve also compiled a few treats to catch the eyes of that single man in the dorm next door or the hot Venezuelan chica in your psychology lecture. Enjoy.

Garbage>>

CELEBRITIES

Someone has got to tell that 15-year-old Miley Cyrus to put some pants on before posing for Myspace pics. So much for setting an example for the pre-tweens of tomorrow.

COMMERCIALS

Gone are the days of the pseudo-offensive Super Bowl Snickers commercial. Don’t expect any lawsuits or public apologies this year.

MUSIC

Not only are you not famous, Heidi Montag, no one wants to hear what you have to say – or sing – about plastic surgery or your cheating boyfriend. Your unreleased album is already tomorrow’s has-been.

STYLE

This spring, a trend that isn’t coming back with flowers or the geese is the dainty pastel. Opt for richer colors when reaching for your favorite cardigan, and avoid lavender at all costs.

WEATHER

The days are getting longer, and it’s time to adopt a new attitude. Pull out those white iPod buds and have a conversation, because those wintry anti-social attitudes are out.

Knowledge>>

CELEBRITIES

We love our Hollywood bad girls, but cocaine has been done. We have to salute Hayden Panettiere for her illegal activism in Japan. Warrant out for saving dolphins? You go, girl.

COMMERCIALS

Hop on YouTube to rewatch those Super Bowl commercials you missed on Sunday. The best ones include a few Budweiser favorites and Pepsi’s clever use of Hadaway’s “What is Love.”

MUSIC

In memory of Heath, pop in that 10 Things I Hate About You soundtrack and let the angry-chick tunes roll. “Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?”

STYLE

Finding it hard to squeeze those bright colors into your wardrobe? J. Crew’s wellies (in every shade) are the perfect solution. Finally, matching shoes are optional.

WEATHER

Punxsutawney Phil was wrong. Spring is in early this year, and you have to show your enthusiasm by making a spring CD mix and boycotting that rotten winter scowl.