Dear Dr. Date,
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for six months now and it’s been going great. One problem — she pretends we’re not together online. The day she asked me to be her girlfriend, she requested I keep our relationship off of social media. I figured it was an understandable request, even though I’ve never been one to spam people on Instagram with kissing photos. She doesn’t have any social media, so who would I tag?
However, now that we’ve been dating for more than a few months, I’ve wanted to do something to prove I’m in a relationship. I haven’t even been able to change my status on Facebook! Any subtweet I have about my relationship ends up being screenshot and sent to me by her with the caption “Seriously?”
I don’t know what’s going on with her, but I’m starting to think she’s either cheating or embarrassed to be seen with me. How can I convince her to let me show my love?
No Posting Allowed
Dear No Posting Allowed,
You’re positive she doesn’t have a partner on the side? (Considering she doesn’t have any social media and you two are publicly together, that’s hopefully unlikely.) But seriously: if I understood your post right, you both identify as women. Is it possible she’s not out to everyone in her life and doesn’t want people she hasn’t told to see her cuddled up with her girlfriend?
Either way, I don’t think you should try to “convince her.” It’s something she told you up front when you first started dating — compromise is better than forcing the other into changing their decision. If she’s not super comfortable with appreciation or anniversary posts, ask if you can change your status to “In A Relationship,” even if it doesn’t have the name of your partner attached.