Dear Dr. Date,
My boyfriend and I were going to spend our very first Valentine’s Day together last week. He had planned a whole surprise day for me that I was really excited about. But right before we were supposed to meet on V-Day, I found out some really bad news about my family. It’s a long story, but it’s stuff I don’t feel comfortable talking to my boyfriend about.
I did what I thought would be best for me. I ran to my best friend’s house, who knows everything. I cried hysterically, watched an entire season of trashy television, he made me dinner and we drank all the good wine. And I didn’t check my phone once. I told my boyfriend I couldn’t make it that night and totally went off the grid: I crashed and didn’t leave the house/talk to him for three days.
I know what I did is totally awful, but I don’t know how to try and explain. I have a feeling my relationship is over. What do I do?
Dear Lover Killer,
I obviously don’t know most of the situation, but I’ll trust you and say that it was the best decision at the time to go to your best friend’s place. But as you know, ghosting for three days, especially over V-Day weekend, was not a good move. There’s no going back now, though, so talk to him and see how he’s feeling. This doesn’t have to necessarily be a relationship ender. Apologize, offer as much information as you can and ask if you can plan a total redo of the day/weekend, with or without bad tv.