Billions of Mexicans escape INS detection!

by I am

“Son – of – a – BITCH!”
Agent Alfred Orange’s words echoed through the deserted halls of the Texas Immigration and Naturalization Services Border Patrol headquarters as 8 billion Mexicans made tracks into the surrounding countryside.
“I’s jess takin’ a nap,” Agent Orange drawled. “An’ ‘en that phone a-started ringin’.”
He gestured vaguely toward the Green Phone, INS’s direct line to NORAD, the North American Aerospace Defence Command. The direct line is necessary, Agent Orange explained, “fer things Ol’ Bessy (Orange’s 30-ought-six) can’t take care ‘a.”
“S’anyways, ’em boys over ‘ere at NO-RAD says, ‘Y’all lookin’ out the winder?’ and I says ‘no’ an’ he says ‘well git ch’ass up, boy! Ar’ sat-o-lite shows eight billion Mex’cans a-crossin’ inna ‘merican territry,'” Orange yammered. “So’s a’course I look ‘n ‘ats when I seen ’em.”
Eight billion, four thousand thirty-two of “’em” to be exact.
“An’ ‘ats ’bout th’ time I hollered ‘SUM-BITCH!'” Orange continued.
“Yup,” the horrified Texan concluded.
Repercussions of the mass immigration have been widespread and disastrous.
Socialist Party presidential hopeful Pat Buchanan was the first casualty of the crisis when, upon hearing the news, his head exploded.
The INS oversight has been attributed to the fact that all of their agents, save Agent Orange, were attending a post-raid regala in Miami with Attorney General Janet “Waco-this” Reno.
Cause for alarm
Naysayers, however, have raised suspicion over the validity of the incident, with many pointing out that there are only, in fact, 6 billion people on the planet.
New York Census Bureau Chief Joey Baggadonuts, however, said the seemingly outlandish number is more than plausible.
“They’s only 6 billion people inna world, huh?” Baggadonuts said. “‘Ey Maurice! Getta loada dis friggin’ guy ova here! He says he knows ‘ow many friggin’ people we got onna friggin’ Planet Eart. Mafungul!”
Baggadonuts then explained some of the shortcomings of current population counting methods.
“How we ‘spose a’ know how many people are inna friggin’ world when we can’t get nobody ta ans’a ouwa friggin’ census? Fuggedaboudit,” Baggadonuts said. “We took a friggin’ guess. Yougottafrigginproblemwidat? Get da hell outta my awffice buhfore I have Maurice beat you inna yestuhday, you stoopit bastuhd, you.”
Justice, Texas style
The only truly decisive action in the situation has been taken by Texas Gov. George W. Bush.
The presidential hopeful took time out of his busy campaign to fly back to Texas and “rectify the sitcha-ation,” he said.
Beginning Tuesday night, Dubya began rounding up everyone who looked like an illegal alien, sealing them in boats in the Gulf of Mexico and sinking them.
“Well, I only killed ’bout a hunnert ‘n twenny people ‘is year,” Dubya explained. “An’ I figger this is a nice way t’play catchup. Y’know y’have one year where y’set the rekerd fer executions an’ ever year affer that, y’got this reputation to live up to. It’s tough work. I think I’ll have some cocaine.”
Some of those being rounded up have protested the seemingly haphazard methods of collection.
One man, who was apprehended while lounging on the beach outside of Corpus Christi, claimed to be not a Mexican but simply a tourist with a healthy tan.
“Fa’ fuck’s sake, I’m from Queens!” the suspect screamed as he was being dragged by two Texas Rangers into the back of a waiting semi. “Imma friggin’ Italian!”
“Yup. We been gittin’ a lotta that,” said Pudge Rodriguez, one of the Rangers.
“But you gotta ‘spect that sorta thang,” Pudge’s partner, Rafael Palmeiro, chimed in. “I mean, what’re they gonna say? ‘Sure, pardner! Stick me in a boat an’ ‘en sink it! Where’d I sign up?'”
The Rangers had a good, hearty laugh at that one, all the while banging on the side of the trailer.

Sancho does not care what you think because he does not have to. He is Sancho. Are you Sancho? No, you are not Sancho. But he … he is Sancho.