Dear Dr. Date,I began dating an incredible, sweet, caring, passionate guy a few weeks ago. We’ve been on several dates since, and we are hitting it off very well. We recently began discussing getting into a more serious relationship. I could very easily see myself in a relationship with him; he has also said the same thing. There is one major complication that is holding everything back. I will be studying abroad for three months this fall semester; I leave in September and return in December. I let him know this when we started dating. He is looking for a long-term relationship, and I would like to have a long-term relationship, but don’t believe it’s fair for me to leave for three months and expect it all to work out during that time. However, I won’t leave until September and anything can happen between now and then. Things might not work out, but then again, we could develop a really strong relationship. I don’t know, and I don’t like projecting that far into the future this soon. And yes, we’ve discussed most of this. I really want to focus on the present, but this issue seems to appear with everyone I’ve dated in the last three months. Am I being unfair? Should I just be dating and not be looking for any form of serious relationship at all?–Trying to be fair
Sometimes, friend, there comes a point where you’ve done all the talking and analyzing necessary and you still don’t have the right answer. Yours is the big question for all of us, really. Is it worth it? Is all the sweets, tenderness and passion worth the pain that may or may not come? Yes. Yes, of course it is. For most intents and purposes, you’ve got just one life to live. You can’t pass up a great guy just because the timing is bad. And really, the timing isn’t that bad. You have all summer to enjoy each other’s magic and touch. Do it!
When the time comes for you to leave, feel free to write me again and ask for advice on what to do. But for now, you and yours have only one agenda: sweet fun. It sounds to me like you’ve been in this spot before and perhaps not fared too well. You’re speaking like a cautious old person. There are plenty of better things to be excessively careful about than love. I’m serious. I speak often about the importance of communicating and you’ve done that. I speak often about getting out and meeting good people, and you’ve done that. I also speak of taking hold of your life and riding it for the bucking bronco it is. It’s time for you to do just that. Giddyup!
(Don’t forget about Dr. Date’s Mini Mixer this Friday at Whole Music Club!)