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The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

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Never-ending tunnel network

Limping, you get up and run back into Willey Hall, where the last of the students are shuffling out.
“Damn him. Where could he be?” you wonder as you look around.
You decide to check the bathrooms in the lower level of Willey. The man has been running as much as you and since you’re out of breath, you assume he might be needing a break and a good place to hide.
You decide to check the men’s room first. As you enter, you cautiously peek under the stalls. You see one pair of feet. Thinking you’ve got him, you walk over to the stall. Right before you’re about to burst into the stall, you hear a male voice.
“Oh, Steve,” he says.
Then you hear another male voice. “Oh, Bill!” the other replies.
You quickly decide against checking this particular stall. In fact, you want to get away from the bathrooms now. Right now!
You convince yourself that the thief has more stamina than you and that he was probably not taking a break, but rather is getting farther away from you.
“All I want is my ticket!” you scream.
Then, you remember the tunnel system is an easy way to get around the West Bank (for some). The thief must have gone down there.
You run through the skyway and downstairs to the bottom of Blegen Hall where you accidentally notice the West Bank Bookstore.
“So that’s where it is,” you say to yourself with a smile.
But, the triumph of your recent discovery will have to wait. “I need that ticket.”
You head into the dark twisting interior of the tunnels. Just as you start, you see the man huffing and puffing in a corner. Unfortunately, he also notices you and once again takes off, rounding the corner.
“I’ve got him,” you yell triumphantly. But as you round the corner, you realize all might be lost. You have now come to an intersection in the tunnels and the man is nowhere to be seen. Now you must quickly guess which route the man took and go get your ticket.

If you turn right and go through Ferguson Hall and possibly the Rarig Center … See SAYHELLO TOLONIANDERSON page 20
If you turn left and go through Anderson Hall …See SEAOFEMPTINESS page 16
If you go straight to the stairs which lead up to the Social Sciences Building …See FEELINGHOT, HOT, HOT page 12

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