Fake Tans on TV

by Spencer Doar


So “Jersey Shore” is officially donezo.  If you were happy to see it go: stop reading.  If tears were shed at its passing: do not fear, as MTV has been hatching contingency plans for quite some time. 

And no, it’s not the lifeless spin-off “Snooki and JWoww.”

The show in question is MTV UK’s “Geordie Shore,” which just wrapped up its third season in Cancun.  A “geordie” is pretty much the exact same bronzer-covered, vapid, stereotypical person from the “Jersey Shore,” except quintessentially British.  They all hail from Newcastle upon Tyne in North East England. 

If it is even possible, “Geordie Shore” is more of a boondoggle than its predecessor.  The cast’s "jobs" usually involve housesitting (aka getting wasted and trashing someone else’s abode) or dressing scantily for some vaguely referenced promotional event.  But hey, all the more time for schmoozing and boozing, right?!

The adventurous viewer might need to do some digging to unearth the fetid first three seasons, but the incessant cycle of sex, infighting, and thick English accents is reward enough.  And learn new vocabulary like “pullin’ birds” (picking up ladies), “worldy” (a foreign sexual conquest), and “tash on” (make out).