The guy I’m dating might be an incel — what do I do?

When I looked through his DM’s, they were full of him harassing women who obviously didn’t want to hook up with him…


by Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

We’ve all seen him: the guy who is oblivious as to how uncomfortable he makes girls when commenting how hot they are on their Instagram pics. Whether it be the casual “sexy” or the drawn-out ramble of how this photo made his genitals feel, every encounter makes the reader feel almost as icky as the girl who posted the photo. Honestly, I was a little happy when I found out the amazing guy I’ve been seeing doesn’t even have an Instagram — at least he’s not one of those guys, right?

Or so I thought. Through a series of unfortunate events (a.k.a. my friend found him when he direct messaged her to say she was hot), I discovered he not only has an account, but follows about 1,000 Instagram models and comments on every girl’s photo he can find. Not in the charming way that got him into my bed in the first place — the “you won’t hook up with me? Never mind, you’re ugly anyway” kind of way. When I looked through his DM’s, they were full of him harassing women who obviously didn’t want his opinion. 

This guy is great in every other way, but his online presence is super toxic. What do I do?


Not a Creep

Dear Not a Creep,

RUN. Why are you even debating staying with this guy? Someone who publicly reduces women to nothing but their attractiveness level is not worth your time or anyone else’s. I could maaaaaybe (probably not) excuse the awkward Instagram comments, but taking it into DM’s to try and hook up with other girls who obviously are uncomfortable is way too far.  Make sure you tell him exactly why you’re angry — hey, maybe he’ll realize behavior like this is incredibly unattractive. But sadly, ten bucks says when you dump him, he says you weren’t even hot.


Dr. Date