Dear Dr. Date, As …

Dear Dr. Date,
As I read your column last Wednesday morning, I could not help but notice that I was in a very similar situation as “Me.” “Me” was worried about her friends becoming too dependent on their boyfriends. A friend of mine and I confronted a friend of ours about spending too much time with their significant other. We thought we did a good thing because our friend had always said they did not want to change due to dating someone. Unfortunately, our friend took it the absolutely wrong way. They thought we were yelling at them, but we merely wanted to tell them we were worried about them and wanted to get their point of view — whether they felt they spent too much time together or not. This happened a while ago, and our friend does not talk to us anymore.
A word of wisdom to “Me”: be careful of what you say. You might not think it is wrong or hurtful, but put yourself in that person’s shoes, and say what you would want someone to tell you in the same situation. Also, if you cherish this relationship with your friends, I suggest you wait until these “relationships” end. Some things said can never be taken back. Maybe your friends will realize they do not want this type of relationship anymore, and you will be there with a shoulder to cry on and an open heart. Take care and good luck!
— Me too

Thanks for your response! I neglected to cover this part of the issue. Sometimes a person in a relationship is not only blind to what is happening to themselves but also deaf to their friends’ warnings.
I’m sure many of you have been in the unfortunate position of having to choose between a good friend and your significant other. It’s not an easy situation to navigate, especially if the friend and sweetheart are the jealous types. Sadly, it’s most often the friend that loses out. I once knew a woman who was caught in the middle of such a problem. Her boyfriend and her friends hated each other. Watching from the outside, it was interesting to note that both parties had the same complaint: He/She’s no good for her, he/she just manipulates her. From my perspective, I wondered if she wouldn’t have been better off alone.
Still, some people blindly stick by their sweetheart even if their sweetheart is abusing them. Why is it that some people so fiercely defend their relationship regardless of how bad the situation is? For some, it must be pride manifested as a refusal to admit that they might have made a mistake in choosing a partner. For others, I imagine it’s the fear of being alone if the relationship should end.