NKOTB challenges new breed with some

JeM Therockstar

Yeah, Backstreet’s back alright, but New Kids on the Block are here to stay.
The New Kids will show up all the other boy bands this Saturday at the Northrop Auditorium’s annual Boy Band Battle.
NKOTB will rival such stagnant forces as 98 Degrees, N’SYNC and the Backstreet Boys.
Newcomers 98.6 Degrees will also make an appearance. Rumors suggest they have the inside connection to the faculty head judge, Fred Morrison, and might take the cake as the dark horse in the running.
After five unsuccessful after-band careers, the NKOTB decided to forgive and forget and make their debut reunion appearance at the University, said agent Alex Bastian.
“We decided that putting all our eggs in one basket would be the most lucrative option for all of our futures,” said band member Jonathan Knight, as he walked out of Century Realty on his last day.
“Selling houses just wasn’t providing me with my rock ‘n roll dreams,” Knight said.
Donnie Wahlberg had different reasons for rejoining the gang.
“My wife and kids split and the acting career was going to hell in a handbasket,” he admitted. His younger brother Marky Mark Wahlberg is, by the way, hot.
Joey McIntyre, Jordan Knight and Danny Wood had no excuses but merely sad, sad careers.
“We’re back,” a bright-eyed and cheery Danny said, as the band sang their next hit, “Let’s try it again.”
For the past week NKOTB has been practicing from sun up to sundown in McIntyre’s mom’s garage.
“They initiated the boy band bonanza,” Bastian said. “They’re gonna crush the competition on Saturday, I can’t wait!”
The world will wait in the heat of suspense for NKOTB’s shining debut, or shall we say rebirth.
“We’re gonna come like a bat out of hell and shock the pants off everyone,” McIntyre said.
“We hope they break a leg and shine like super stars,” said friend, Nelson Brother number one.
“They’ve ditched the mullets and the super freaky dancing, they’re better than ever,” said Nelson Brother number two.
The only fan left in the NKOTB fan club, Scott Baio, was elated about their return and vowed to sport the NKOTB T-shirt and count sheep beneath the NKOTB sheets up until the concert.

JeM Therockstar welcomes comments at [email protected]