A Cinderella story

Just when we all thought winter would never release its ferocious grip on dear Minnesota, the sun came shining through and with it, higher temperatures and of course, my favorite part of spring, flip-flops. There are a lot of reasons why I love flip-flops, chief among them, the mere ease with which you can wear them. Plus, they come in a variety of colors, styles and can literally be found everywhere.

But with the ubiquity of flip-flops comes the chance you could end up with some that are terribly made – think those flimsy little numbers you can find at Old Gravy and Gap. These are not your $195 Prada slip-ons via Neiman Marcus dancing in my head every time I sleep. What can I say? When it comes to such a simple shoe, you truly get what you pay for. So I guess when I paid the measly $9.99 for my black Gap flip-flops I should have been a tad bit worried.

Umm, worried? Try terrified. There I was, minding my own business last Thursday in the West Bank skyway and doing my thing, walking on my legs and flipping my hair, flipping my hair, walking on my legs with my iced vanilla latte. I’m not going to lie, I was feeling good and looking even better – the two being intricately and infinitely connected, remember. Well all that came to an end when some greasy Oompa-Loompa “character” had to protrude my chic bubble and step on my heel. I didn’t think too much of the sitch, gave O-L the Manhattan once-over and kept walking. But I walked right out of my left flip-flop Ö. Oh yeah! Just like Britney, there I was traipsing through some public space with all 10 toes just dangling out to soak up any and all disease from the floor.

Now, you should understand that I’m a bit of a germaphobe. Actually, I just like to brush my teeth and wash my hands frequently, so this was a really unfortunate start to my day, considering it was 9 a.m., and I was going to my other job for the rest of the day. My rubber flip-flop was honest to blog busted. Like, the strap was in two pieces – not just one of those crummy “oops” when the end comes through the pre-made hole. It was tragic, torturous and there I was, with only one wearable shoe. What was a fashionisto to do? Get resourceful.

I work in an office, and let’s just say, you can do wonders with a wall of office supplies at your disposal. I obvi needed to have shoes for the day. You all know how the perfect podiatric accessory can make or break an outfit! So I went to work. Try number one involved packing tape. My coworker AH-ndrea quickly googled a remedy, bless her heart, but the most successful repairs involved double-sided tape. Needless to say, I’m not sure where those betches were getting their info, because the tape test ended horribly.

The next solution was ticky-tack. We put some on the ends of the strap recently divorced and well, I just ended up a big gooey mess, even more so than when the tape failed. It was pretty disgusting, and so far it was flip-flop: two, Aaron: 0.

I pulled out all stops. It was batsh-t-crazy fashion war in my cubicle, and started my style sartorially strategizing for my next attack. I quickly eyed the paper clips. Perfect! Life gave me lemons, and I painted that sh-t gold suckahs! After a minor episode I like to call There Will Be Blood 2, my flip-flop was repaired. I gave new meaning to beauty is pain, all while building my mechanical skills. Hot dayum!

Gap should be so proud that I could repair its cheap products so quickly, too – after all, the whole ordeal, from start to salvation was only 15 minutes. So I lost my shoe, got it back, all without the help of a fairy godmother. Sadly, though, I’m still single Ö meh, all in a day’s work.

Have your own fashion question? Write me at [email protected], and you too could appear in “Where Life Meets Style!”