Network: walk up the escalators you idiots; D-Man; CrAcK; Hombrejeff

>Thank you for addressing this very important issue. What the NUTT is up with people that they have to stop walking when they get to an escalator? Are we all so exhausted that we need to take a break and stand there like an idiot every time we reach an escalator? No, I don’t think so. It takes like 5 seconds to walk up an escalator and about 30 seconds to stand there like an idiot and wait for it to haul your ass up. Take that wasted 25 seconds times 2 (once up and once down) times 5 days per week and 52 weeks per year and that’s almost 4 hours per year wasted for no reason on the stupid escalator. Please, for the love of God, people, walk up the goddamn escalator. Net: The moral turpitude of escalator standers is astounding.

From D-Man

So, is this where one goes to call Darren Bernard a douchebag? I figured so. That’s right Mr. Bernard, you are hereby dubbed Sir Douche of Jebusland. With a bit more practice, he might find himself the douche of choice for giant shock-jock douches such as Bill “This Dildo Ain’t Mine” O’Reilly and Dennis “Shooting An Arab Lying On His Back Is Totally Self-Defense” Miller. Honestly chaps, I sense the Daily should abandon its experiment with conservative writers until it can manage to find some that aren’t patent inflammatory morons. Net: Sounds reasonable. However, I venture it is a welcome change that asinine conservatives on campus have departed from whining about their persecution by the teachers and the TV in favor of the bi-partisan, unifying process of gloating. If only these wankers would get it through their Neanderthalic skulls that a 51% to 48% victory is hardly a landslide. Net: It’s more like a dirt scuffle. On a more intelligent note, Mozilla recently released Firefox 1.0, the so-good-it’ll-take-your-mother-to-bed web browser of champions. As rambunctious as you are, Net, I suspect that you haven’t been mouthifying Bill Gates as of late,

and thus are some sort of Debian or Red Hat-based creature, so it would be in your best interest to support your open-source cousins at www.getfirefox.com.

Finally, I must agree that the tube/tent pregnancy tops that are all the rage with the ladies are indeed the most horrid fashion design since Zubaz. Any female caught wearing one should cry herself to sleep for how celluloiderifficly “sad” she looks. Later blokes. Net: Zubaz plus pregnancy tops might be a good look.

From CrAcK

Cheese and rice! Just pet the squirrels, they don’t bite people. All right net I was standing there outside the door next to this squirrel. I’m tellin ya I was so close to the damn thing I could have blown it a bong hit in its face. That little bastard he wanted it too. Ok everyone pink is cool, even my old lady’s got pink shoes. Now that we all know that hey Bi_Eye_ got a question for ya. Does g-darn mean god damn, r u catholic, and or free Saturday night? I only ask because I got some squirrel buddies who only like to date chicks that can spell good. He heÖ ha ha . Give me a call, leave a message let me know. Net: Sigh. Nevermind.

From Hombrejeff

Five years removed from the real world, and at least one more year from my re-entry, I have come to one conclusion. If not for my wife and dog, and the occasional basketball victory, life at the University blows. Net: What about the dogless and unmarried? Starting around the same time as the football plummit to mediocrity the weather has blown. It has been dark and cloudy every day this fall it seems. Common sense leads me to believe that Bush is using some kind of destructive weapon to commit this abortion on sun light. Because we do only have three seasons here in MN, and I have decided that winter is the third of them, it seems very anti-family values to get shafted with the sun-abortion machine during the third-trimester. Hopefully the sun doth shine in glorious Detroit, and the victory of the Gophers will light the way. Net: Bush as a mad scientist? It would explain a lot.