Dear Dr. Date,My problem goes like this. I am told I am good-looking by some girls. I don’t let it get to my head. I work out a lot, and I do it for myself. I am confident in the way I look. The problem is I have trouble meeting girls. It is the initiating conversation I have problems with. This is because I don’t want to be THAT guy in the bar who is using pick-up lines (because I think they are corny).What are some suggestions you have? I also think when a girl is confident enough to approach a guy, it makes her even more attractive than one who just sits back and waits for whatever comes to her. This is a double standard girls have. They want guys to approach them, but if they do, then they are coming on too strong or in the wrong way. What do you think about this double standard?— PerplexedI don’t think you’ve tried hard enough, buddy. If you had approached more women in your life, you wouldn’t be generalizing their behavior the way you do. Not all women are alike. Stop a second and compare yourself with all the guys around you. Are you like them? In some ways, yes, but in many ways you aren’t. That difference is not unique to the male gender.
If you don’t want to be that one sleazy guy at the bar who dishes out corny pick-up lines, the answer is simple. Don’t be that guy. No one says you have to be. The most useful pick-up line in the world is “hi,” or a variation thereof. Combine this line with a smile, and you’ve got a winning routine you can use over and over again. It won’t always work, but you’ll learn soon enough when to use it and when to pass.
Many guys inexperienced with dating tend to place all their bets on trophy women who fit a common stereotype of beauty. Meanwhile, the bulk of women, who out of self-respect don’t make themselves look like a Barbie doll, are equally, if not more, attractive. Remember, you aren’t going to be putting your partner on display; you are going to experience life together. To find out which women are beautifully compatible with you, you’ll have to get up close and talk to them. If the thought of doing this is painful to you, get over it. Good things don’t come to those who sit on their ass whining.
Most women want to date and no matter how strange you think you are, there are wonderful women out there who would love to talk to you. There’s probably one near you right now.
(This week’s question: When should a person get married? Write your answer to me and I’ll print it in this Friday’s Dr. Date.)