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Dear Dr. Date,I h…

Dear Dr. Date,
I have a little problem. Last semester at work I met this girl. We got along pretty well and I think there was some chemistry between us. She flirted with me a couple of times but it did not get serious. The problem is that I developed feelings for this girl. I feel like I am in love with her. I think about her all the time. The job was only for spring semester so when it ended we both went our separate ways. I am taking summer classes and she is working on campus this summer.
We see each other on campus and every time I see her I want to tell her how I feel, but then I chicken out. We are good friends and I don’t want to end up looking like a fool. I will be graduating this summer and moving to Wisconsin where I got a job, so I don’t have much time. I guess I don’t want to miss my chance with her. I am not good at relationships or expressing my feelings; a couple of years ago I blew my chance with someone else and I don’t want that to happen again. But I also don’t want to lose our friendship either. Any advice you can give me will be very helpful.
Thank you.
–F

It’s pretty clear to both of us what needs to be done. You need to express your feelings to her. Not because it’s guaranteed to work (because it certainly might not.) You need to do this so you don t end up with a life filled with regret and missed opportunities.
Neither of us know what’s going on in her head. She might not care for you at all or she could be harboring the same feelings you are. From the sound of it, there’s only one way to find out and that is to confront her. Her flirting may indicate an interest. She may also just like to flirt or possibly what you consider flirting she considers being normal.
Confronting her will be awkward, especially if you haven’t done it before. I fear, too, that the word confront might be confusing. In situations like these, you don’t want to corner a person. Generally, people don’t react well to being cornered. This means don’t pour your heart out at work.
Since it’s summer, a workable solution is to find a fun outdoor daytime event that you both might be interested in and invite her along. I always prefer to call a date a date. Don’t make the mistake of thinking she understands what s going on in your head. Try this line, “I have Saints tickets and I thought it’d be fun if we went to the game on a date.” She might say no, but she won’t think you are an idiot.

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