Network: Penguin Fanatic; elpha; Don’t_Want_To_Be_A_Daddy; marching band geeks

>I have found an error of logic! Net: Stop the presses! On Wednesday, while perusing the many sections of the Minnesota Daily, I came across one of those meaningless ads. You know- the ones with a platypus making a joke or a cow and a guy in a mirror. Anyway, this one had a large group of penguins mulling about in the middle of some ice with three penguins separated from the main group. On the left, it had a lonely penguin stating “Ummmm, I guess I’ll take Barry.” Then, on the other side, it had two penguins, one stating, “You always get Barry. You suck.” But no, I say that lone penguin does NOT suck. The penguin who has ridiculed the lone penguin is the one that sucks because he is a frickin moron! He complains that the lone penguin always gets Barry (Barry must be good at whatever stupid game they’re about to play), yet here the moron has already picked a penguin from the group. Net: Your mom already picked a penguin from the group. Gee, NUTThole, since you went first, why didn’t you pick Barry right away.

But some may say to this – maybe the penguin he has already chosen is better than Barry. But I say to that – why would he give a rat’s NUTT about Barry then? Unless he is a complete hogger of penguin talent. In that case, he can just go to Hell, which might be pretty uncomfortable given the fact that, well, he’s a frickin penguin. Either way, Barry’s a pimp. Net: You mean that Barry commits violence against women in order to force them to work as prostitutes for his benefit?

From elpha

Dear Prettyin PINK, You are not intellegent. You are stupid. How you like dem apples? Network, I’ve got your back. Net: We know.

From Don’t_Want_To_Be_A_Daddy

I would likely to briefly offer my opinion as a male on campus about fashion. Now, me being a normal guy who really couldn’t give a NUTT if a girl is wearing Gucci or Target, would just like to express one style of shirt that is being worn now by most of our female population. It’s those NUTTing maternity shirts. You know the ones I’m talking about, they have this tight little chest area and then inflate like a circus tent down the rest of the body. What girl, who is not pregnant, would want to wear those shirts? Not to side with Bi_Eye_For_The_Straight_Gal but, if a girl is wearing one of those shirts that is pink and NOT pregnant, I think she is really just begging for someone to knock her up. I don’t know about every other guy out there but I’m going to run like hell from any girls wearing pink circus tents. Net: As well you should. They are all terrorists hiding bags of anthrax.

From marching band geeks

Network, you better stop ripping on folks in marching band. Net: Why don’t you make us? I mean, you make enough off-the-cuff remarks that most anybody can tell your pituitary is still intact and that you probably used to be male before they extracted your brain and put you in the vat. Do you look at the same marching band members I do? Sorry, stupid question, you don’t have eyes. Net: We have sensors! Perennial “American Pie” stigma aside, most MB folks I know are very not-nerdy, and anybody who only sees them in uniform is missing out. I actually have a couple people in particular in mind when I say this, but in general, with the amount of exercise those folks get as a group… Damn. My rule #1 – it’s not what’s being worn, it’s who’s wearing it. This applies to prettyinpink & BiGuy, too. Stop being subjective wieners. Net: Objectivity is a myth, dude. Subjective wieners are the only wieners going. As far as IT folks go, rip on them all you want – I used to be one, but thought better of it. I don’t do Haiku. Have a nice interminable-period-in-your-tank, Net’. Net: It would be nicer with a bud. Hint, hint.