Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Daily Email Edition

Get MN Daily NEWS delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday!

SUBSCRIBE NOW

By demonizing pleasure, we set ourselves up for unfulfilling sex lives.
Opinion: Let’s talk about sex
Published March 27, 2024

Nordic blood, blue eyes go hand in hand

Visiting Swedish professor Jon Bergstrom rivals Old Blue Eyes with his crystal aqua irises.
An ophthalmologist and medical researcher, Bergstrom has capitalized on his signature Nordic trait while delivering lectures on a proposed scientific explanation for the eye color.
The burly, blond brute from Stockholm captivated more than 200 Medical School faculty members and students Friday afternoon in a Moos Tower lecture hall. He peppered his comments with incomprehensible Swedish utterances, but his message was well-received, nevertheless.
Frank Prince, an associate professor in the Medical School’s Department of Ophthalmology, said Bergstrom cleared up several misconceptions about the human eye during his two-hour-long talk.
“Bergstrom astounded us with the revelation that blue-eye color can be traced to Nordic ancestry,” Prince said, with wonder in his sparkling, hazel eyes. “I mean, that is a revolutionary scientific theory. I, for one, have simply never thought of that as a possibility.”
Other campus eye specialists echoed Prince’s sentiments.
“Bergstrom’s ideas are going to have a significant impact on future research studies here at the University of Minnesota,” said Janice Johnson, chairwoman of the Department of Ophthalmology. “We are totally shocked about his postulation. The department already has plans to offer courses on the connection between blue eyes and Scandinavian heritage next fall.”
Johnson added that Bergstrom’s message touched her on a more personal level. As a third-generation Norwegian-American, Johnson has long since agonized over the amazing coincidence that all of her family members possess the same shade of blue eyes.
“Now, it all makes sense. We have the same colored peepers because we are Norwegian,” she said. Linking physical characteristics to genetics had never occurred to Johnson before, she admitted.
At the end of the lecture, as stunned professors and students filed out of the auditorium, Bergstrom silently chuckled to himself. His assistants poured him a few more glasses of Swedish vodka.
“Oh, those fools,” Bergstrom giggled as he plucked his colored contacts out of his naturally muddy, brown eyes.

Leave a Comment

Accessibility Toolbar

Comments (0)

All The Minnesota Daily Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *