Hazing project: Sausages and modern art at the Rogue Buddha Gallery

Maria Scjwenkenstone

The most intriguing exhibition in the Twin Cities is at Rogue Buddha, where performance artist Ramon Schwein’s latest work, Hazing Project, is designed to involve the entire community of smelly Euro-hippies who patronize the Twin Cities art scene.

“It’s about our overtly matriarchal society, and how the mother figure oppresses us with her appetite for Ö” Schwein said, completing his sentence by tapering off vocally and waving his arms in a grand manner, which he did throughout out meeting at a swank Uptown cafe last Friday.

Schwein’s performance, which he calls “culturally inclusive,” depends on audience participation.

“In my performance, the audience are my children because they will be my creation,” Schwein said. “I want to baptize them in a non-religious way with many hot dogs.”

Schwein has created over 23 hand-sculpted wood paddles, which he will utilize mercilessly on any patron who cries when they are ordered to spill milk on his 12 foot-long table, which will be covered in a pink linen cloth.

“They will rue the day they spilt milk,” says Schwein.

Schwein will then force-feed them 1,000 sausages, courtesy of Carmichael’s, a local sausage plant.

“Then I will sob mercilessly and ask them if they know how much I love them, if they know how hard I slaved to make them eat this meal. And why must they be vegetarians? Why? Why? To make my life harder?” Schwein said.

Schwein says he will also ask the patrons if they know what he had to give up for them, and why can’t they ever thank him? And don’t they know that he is their biggest cheerleader?

He will then cry and ask them to leave.