No such thing as a “free lunch” club

In order to form a more perfect University of Minnesota, I have decided to create the “Free Lunch” Club. The “Free Lunch” Club is an all-inclusive student group. Due to our lack of fundraising skills, I will be seeking money from all of you paying your student services fees.

Upon looking at the criteria for funding requests from the student services fees website, I believe our group will meet and exceed them. Each week our club will have a “free lunch” meeting, where we will sample foods from different cultures and ethnicities. These lunches will give us a greater perspective of cultures and ethnicities different from our own. In the meetings, we will discuss topics such as religion, politics, diversity and sustainability. Even those who are not at the meetings will benefit because we, the attendees, will be further enlightened and will most likely interact with non-attendees at some point in time. I imagine that many students will want to take advantage of the “free lunch;” therefore, I am requesting the average amount requested by a student group for the 2013-14 academic year, which is $42,311. Since only eight of the 76 requests were recommended $0 and, on average, 64 percent of funds requested were recommended, I feel confident we will secure funding.

I know there are some of you out there who think my “Free Lunch” Club is just us looking for a free lunch, but before you pass judgment, I recommend that you check out some of the other clubs being funded through your student services fees. For those of you who do not like my club, I recommend you join the “Student Services Fees Are Out of Control” Club. All you have to do to join is contact the Student Services Fees Committee and let them know that you are tired of “free lunches.”