Dear Dr Date,I dig…

Dear Dr Date,
I dig your column. I think your mission, to help people feel good about themselves and their choices and desires is excellent, and I appreciate the humor, patience and humanism you bring to the task.
But, I was surprised by your reply to the woman who, “messed up” on controlled substances, got into a threesome with a friend and a stranger, and now wants to get it on again with the friend and have their friendship be something more.
##1: Their friendship has become something more already. It could quickly become something much less and go down the drain, if they aren’t careful and considerate of each other. She will not be showing him anything like the respect a friend deserves if she puts the moves on him when he is obviously not sure he wants those moves put on him. If he doesn’t want to talk about the experience, that’s his prerogative. We all have a right to a private life, even among friends and lovers. If she wants to talk about it and repeat the experience, but he doesn’t, she has to decide if she can still be friends with him on his terms. Just because you had a sexual experience with someone doesn’t mean that you own all the rights to that experience, or that you can dictate the terms of your relationship based on that experience. The tactics you recommended are harassment, which should not occur among strangers, let alone friends.
##2: A little scolding of the writer is in order, too. Ecstasy, alcohol and dope are not a good combination. I’m not sure there is a good combination of mind/mood altering substances. The last thing you need to have happen is have a reaction to one of the substances or to a combination, and get hauled to Hennepin County in an ambulance so the poor ER residents can try to figure out what’s wrong with you.
Having sex under the influence of drugs is a quick way to dissatisfaction and confusion, and also to doing things you may regret, as he clearly does.
##3: A little more scolding is in order. Having sex with complete strangers can be very exciting and satisfying. It can also put you in all kinds of danger. Let’s talk about bodily injury, rape, murder, and disease transmission. Oh, wait, I forgot, we’re all just kids here, squeaky clean inside and out from our lily-white childhoods in pure-as-the-driven-snow Minnesota. I’m sure all three were virgins until they got messed up and had the threesome, and I’m sure no one at any party around here would ever abuse anyone else, no matter how messed up they were.
— A Fan of the Doctor