Wrestler says stupid things, governs state

by Peter Jackal

Whether he’s traveling on his “own time” or ripping journalists, Gov. Jesse Ventura is full of quotes.

Here is a top 20 list of the stupidest quotes by the big dog himself.

“Women’s wrestling can thank silicone. Breast implants are what make it popular. Before that, it was right up there with the midgets.”

“There are no rules limiting donations. Heck, we could probably even take drug money.”

“The writers for the media are nothing but political hacks for whatever party or philosophy they belong to.”

“When I get up in the morning, all I have to do is brush my teeth and know how good-looking I am.”

“Why can’t a wrestler be governor? That’s what this country was founded upon.”

“I threatened to lock (legislative leaders) in a room with Franklin (the first dog). It might have violated the Geneva Connection – you know gas warfare is illegal. But you do what you gotta do. He’s a heck of a weapon to have.”

“If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would like to come back as a 38-DD bra.”

“I don’t need a pay raise. I’ll make money on the side if I need it.”

“I haven’t done anything with bad behavior since I’ve been in office.”

“When you’re a public figure, you lose all your rights.”

“I’m not going to offer my personal opinions on anything.”

“We need to stop penalizing good citizens and stop rewarding bad citizens.”

“No matter who you are, I don’t think anyone cares to inherit underwear secondhand.”

“I don’t want people to think I’m some sort of erratic nut running the state of Minnesota.”

“And they tell you a wrestler can’t govern, huh?”

“Do you realize I’ve kissed Uma Thurman 17 times? When I did ‘Batman and Robin,’ she wanted another take, and I finally put an end to it.”

“The one bad thing about the rebate is that I couldn’t find a way to get my name on the check.”

“What makes being governor great today? The generals have to salute me.”

“Every fat person says it’s not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland. They can’t push away from the table.”

“Have you been to St. Paul? Whoever designed the streets must have been drunk. I think it was those Irish guys. You know what they like to do.”

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