Dr. Date,
My girlfriend is having a really hard time with her new job, and the stress is becoming unbearable. Every day, it’s the same routine: She comes home from work and immediately starts complaining about her boss, spends about two hours on the Internet looking for new job postings and then she goes to bed. The process repeats.
It’s been about two months now, and I can’t take it any longer. I’ve listened to her bitch and moan about the same things, and I’m out of advice. We’ve tried looking for other jobs, like I said, but she never takes the initiative to start applying. She’s too lazy. I don’t know what to do.
It’s at the point where I don’t even know why I’m with her. She isn’t the same person she used to be. I know she needs my support and help, but giving it is exhausting. We used to have so much fun, laugh all the time and have really good conversations. I haven’t seen that side of her in months, and right now she’s a bummer to be around.
I still love her, and I don’t think I could break up with her over this. But how do I tell her that I’m not enjoying our relationship anymore, and I need something to change for us to continue? The added stress probably won’t help her situation, but I’m honestly at the end of my rope. I just want my old girlfriend back.
—Living With a Stranger
Offer a Helping Hand,
It seems like your girlfriend has confused her priorities. And part of loving someone is wanting them to be happy. The fact that you want her to overcome this and figure out how to live a better life shows how much you love her.
You need to talk to her about how you feel and how her behaviors affect you. Steer away from offering advice or focusing on your unhappiness, and instead make the conversation about her. Tell her that you want her to be happy and that you’re ready to offer support to get her through the bad times. She’s lucky to have you to help her.
Aid her with discovering stress-relieving activities. Yoga, animals or music may be good releases. Help her find these activities and accompany her to them. Though it may be challenging, make room in your stressful schedules.
Hopefully, with time and support, she’ll have enough energy and drive to find a job that makes her happier.
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
Here’s a major problem for you: I can’t seem to get it up with my girlfriend. I’m a young, healthy, 20-something-year-old guy, so shouldn’t my stuff down there be pretty functional? It used to be so easy for me to get an erection that I would worry about people seeing it at the wrong time. Now, it’s totally the opposite case.
I get an erection sometimes when I wake up, and it holds for quite some time, so I know things down there are working OK. It’s just when I try to have sex that things don’t operate like they should. It’s really taking a toll on my confidence, and my girlfriend is noticing.
—Penis Problems
Don’t Stress,
The problem is more normal than you may realize. And there are a lot of reasons for why it may be happening, like stress, tiredness, anxiety and alcohol. If you’ve realized that it’s easier to get and keep it up in the day’s early hours, try having sex in the morning. Set aside the time, and then your girlfriend will realize that she
doesn’t need to worry.
Stay confident because it’s probably not anything to worry about. But if the problem persists, and you’ve realized it’s grown serious, I suggest you talk to your doctor.
—Dr. Date
