Dear Dr. Date,
It all started about the middle of the second semester. I was feeling a little, well, … something was lacking in my sex life. I tried to pleasure myself, which usually does the trick, but it just wasn’t satisfying me this time. So, I kind of had this crush on this man down the hall … we’ll call him Ben, and it turned out that he needed a little action, too.
So, now we have this mutual pleasure agreement and whenever either of us is up for a booty call, we know whom to come to. This has been a regular weekly activity of mine for quite some time now. I don’t really like him anymore, so it’s basically just casual sex. The pleasure used to be equally distributed, but recently I find myself the losing party in this rendezvous.
I am not his personal sex toy! Maybe he misunderstood the terms of our contract.
I want some play too! This is a pretty well concealed “relationship” and I don’t want to “blow” our cover, but I want him to know how I feel. I don’t want to put an early end to our beneficial friendship.
But what about my needs?! How can I express to him that I want the benefits of this arrangement reciprocated my way?
–Unsatisfied

Yeah, this is generally the problem with relationships that are based solely on sex. There’s no need or desire to satisfy the other person. It’s a completely selfish investment of time and energy. Pardon the analogy, but you are both like dogs fighting for scraps of food. The quickest dog gets the scraps and really doesn’t care at all whether or not the slow dog, you, gets anything.
Once you start to negotiate the terms of sexual participation, you enter into a completely different relationship, a real relationship. Because you don’t care for this dude, why don’t you go out and find some other stud who can satisfy your needs? I’m sure there’s other men out there that would be more than happy to get you off without commitment.
This seems like the best solution unless, why, of course! You’ve developed feelings for this man! When you say that you don’t really like him anymore, are you telling the truth or are you just disguising it? It’s okay. We tend to develop emotional ties to people with which we have sex.
Don’t believe me? Look at the facts. You don’t like him and he doesn’t satisfy you. Why would you stay with him unless one of these weren’t true?
Oh, I could very well be wrong. The other related option is to stop sleeping with him until he pays more attention to your needs.