Network: MSA Sucks; Shooter; CLA Unite

>From MSA Sucks

I hate the Minnesota Student Association, and I want it destroyed. MSA does nothing, except for wasting student money. They are totally worthless. I have it on good information that MSA is spending $1400 for a parking spot in the East River Road Garage, and the only person who uses it is none other than President Tom Zearley. It’s great that students are paying for a personal parking space for a “volunteer” position. He and the entire executive board must have MSA disease. They believe that they are doing good for the student body, and they are strong student leaders, but all in all they are just doing nothing. The forum accomplishes jack NUTT; their meetings are three plus hours of constant meaningless banter, which reminds me, MSA has no power. They are just a student group; none of their decisions affect University policy. Net: Whew, good thing this is a humor column.

From Shooter

Well it’s fall, and that means preachers, and crowds of hypocrits. The preachers of course wish to spread the ill will of jesus, and the crowds find it amusing. It’s not amusing though, because the preachers are supported by the students. Not by their amassing in large groups to heckle them, but through their consumerism. This country was founded on capitalism and christianity, which is not half bad, until the idea of debt gets circulated through the system. The reason most of those who stand around and watch are hypocrits is because through their use of products, like camera phones, and their use of credit and debt, they support him. Few consumers know where the money goes that they pay to these large companies. This is not an anti-government, pro nader rant, because nader is a shill for the unions, and is intent on revamping the democratic stances, rather than shining a light on the real problem in the world. The real problem is one of a slave to interest, and this is what the middle east conflict, and specificly the one involving islam is. The quran can be interpruted to shed light on the situation, and the prime example is that it denounces the ability to make money on money, called interest, as evil. So while these crowds denounce fundamental christiani values, they support them regardless, by shopping at walmart, to paying ericcson and other mobile phones money to support the very wealthy, who inturn donate to these freakish preachers, and their lesser ilk. So, I say “Christianity made your cell phones, allah be peace” ps, by the time most of these people graduate, they will be enschackled to the likes of jed and his ilk, through interest on their loans, and credit card debt. Net: Mm-hmm. MOC: I heard that!

From CLA Unite

“I am writing in defense of my fellow CLAers and to respond to the “normal ITer”. “normal ITer” what a complete misnomer, try and find one normal ITer on campus and you will be sorely disappointed. It is rare to see a self-proclaimed “normal ITer” uttering phrases like “C’s get degrees”. But truthfully in secret you are calculating formulas and triple checking your percent error on your surveying lab report with your fellow nerds in the nerdatorium. Which leads to another point, the fact that you can claim you are, “chatting up babes online”. Since you have never met someone of the opposite sex nor had a single adultlike conversation, you are forced to turn to your cyber girlfriends on your sticky keyboards. So continue building all of your contraptions including your robot boyfriend/girlfriend and move out of the way of the CLAers. We’ve got real work to do trying to figure out what is wrong with you and how we’ll defend you in court when you finally snap.” Net: “Harsh.”