Weekend Culture Compass – Lebowski bowling, clay monsters and gallery heaven.

A&E plans your weekend. You’re welcome.

Big Lebowski Bowling. Finally, dreams come true. PHOTO COURTESY GRAMERCY PICTURES

Ashley Goetz

Big Lebowski Bowling. Finally, dreams come true. PHOTO COURTESY GRAMERCY PICTURES

Friday Music – Har Mar Superstar Do you like watching balding, overweight men dance around half-naked to glammed-out R&B melodies? Of course you do. Chubby chasers of the world unite and head over to the Turf Club to see MinnesotaâÄôs native son, Har Mar Superstar, in all his glory. His tunes are catchy and his moves are out of this world. Those unfamiliar with his work can pop in a copy of âÄúStarsky and HutchâÄù and watch the coked-out dance scene for a preview. Of course, the real thing is much more erotic (and potentially mortifying), but thatâÄôs just more of an incentive to see the superstar in action. Turf Club, 1601 University Ave. W. 9 p.m. $TBA Music – Taste of Chaos Five years ago, Rock Star energy drink decided to sponsor an all-out freak-fest rock tour, because nothing goes better with speed-like quantities of caffeine than head-banging and punk thrashing. Now, after four years of big name acts, Rock Star has decided to feature some lesser-known bands that the company feels are on the verge of stardom. The relatively well-known Thursday, a post-hardcore outfit straight out of New Brunswick, New Jersey, is headlining the show. TheyâÄôre followed by an assorted array of punk hybrids including the British metalcore band Bring Me The Horizon, the pop-punk Four Year Strong, post-hardcore Pierce the Veil and the straight hardcore Cancer Bats. The Myth, 3090 Southlawn Drive 5 p.m. $23.25 Art – MCAD at the Fallout The Fallout Urban Art Center is one the few galleries in town that wonâÄôt make you feel wholly pretentious. The atmosphere is laidback (their website asks people to come in and do anything, from homework-finishing to guitar-playing) and the art is usually phenomenal. This Friday, the Center will play host to an exhibit featuring selections from MCAD students and alumni alike. This provides art lovers with a chance to see what todayâÄôs artistic youth has to offer. Fallout Urban Art Center 7 p.m. Books – Stephen Lovely One look at the cover of the new book âÄúIrreplaceableâÄù will let you know that itâÄôs going to be a sad affair. A man is drawing a heart on dirty glass and the blackened title of the novel ominously lurks below it. Upon opening it, youâÄôll find that itâÄôs a story of man coping with the loss of his wife, who was unexpectedly killed by a reckless driver. This is the first novel from author Stephen Lovely and to celebrate (and promote it), he has decided to go on a book tour. Head over to Magers & Quinn for an autographed copy of this touching novel. Magers & Quinn, 3038 Hennepin Ave. S. 7:30 p.m. Theater – The 3 Balloons Tour: Stephen Lynch If you enjoy offensive singer-songwriters with acoustic ballads about the Special Olympics and JesusâÄô party-loving brother, then Stephen Lynch is the guy for you. LynchâÄôs infamous legend began back in 2000, when he was launched into the national spotlight via his absurdly funny âÄúComedy Central PresentsâÄù show. Most of you bearded college students were fresh-faced teens back then and felt that any song with the word âÄúgayâÄù in it was worthy of a Grammy (which is apparently the reality, sadly). Now that youâÄôre older and wiser, you can see if LynchâÄôs wacky irreverence can still make you laugh. Chances are, it will. State Theater 805 Hennepin Ave. 8 p.m. $29.50 Saturday Music âÄì Awesome Snakes LetâÄôs take a minute to take some direction from the Minneapolis punk-duo, Awesome Snakes, âÄúSaying that the snakes are stupid, saying that the snakes are dumb: You better shut up! Just shut up!âÄù The Awesome Snakes are primo at slithering into your brain and setting up a parochial school in the religion of awesomeness and punk rock. Together with the Red Pens, Strut & Shock and, the Box Thieves, this show will rock hard. Hexagon Bar, 2600 27th Ave. S 9 p.m. Free Circus – Circus Juventas Open House You know when you were little and your parents took you to the circus and when it was over you cried and cried because you wanted to stay forever? Well, now you can. Circus Juventas, the local circus school that offers classes in unicyling, juggling and trapeze work, will be holding a free open house to celebrate their 15th season of tomfoolery. This weekend, tell your friends you are going to the library, kiss the kids goodbye, sign the waiver and join the circus. Or help your little sibling to to do so, so that you can live vicariously. Circus Juventas Big Top, 1270 Montreal Ave., St. Paul 10 a.m.-4 p.m. free Brews âÄì 2nd Annual Jamaican Fundraiser It may be colder than Sean KingstonâÄôs Strawberry-Kiwi-Liquid-Cool Capri Sun out there, but inside the Rock Bottom Brewery itâÄôs hotter than a crab in the Caribbean sun. Jah man! The Annual Jamaican Fundraiser is a cool Jamaican themed party whose proceeds go towards raising money for pre-schools in Jamrock, helping de little ones grab education. Free beer and free food once inside, which features steel drum performances and a silent auction. If you canâÄôt get down to the sunny south this spring break, you should at least check out the Jamaican Fundraiser to get your dose of some real positive vibes. Rock Bottom Brewery, 800 LaSalle Plaza 2 p.m. âÄì 6 p.m. $25 single $45 couple day of, pre-order tickets less Music âÄì Vampire Hands While Vampire Hands get a bad rep for being cold, clammy and attached to blood sucking cadavers, donâÄôt let that keep you away from this local bandâÄôs sweet sounds. Vampire HandsâÄô music is often intensely rhythmic and has that sweet flowing experimental sound that evokes a cool dark Transylvanian night. Their sounds will caress you and beguile you into a hypnotic state, in a good way. Seventh St. Entry, 701 First Ave. N. 9 p.m. $5 Bowling âÄì A Tribute to the Dude w/ Javier Trejo This isnâÄôt Nam; this is bowling. It has rules. This isnâÄôt just a movie; itâÄôs the Big Lebowski. It has a cult. Whether you are a member of that cult or not, come on down the Memory Lanes and pay tribute to the dudeâÄôs lifestyle, which is one that we all can appreciate. There will be a Costume contest, $3 White Russians, and film viewing ,all under the soothing sound of crashing pins and âÄúJavier TrejoâÄù playing Hotel California and other hits from the film. Until then, take âÄòer easy. Memory Lanes, 2520 26th Ave. S. 9 p.m. $4.99+all relevant tax per game, shoe rental not included Sunday Music – Madeleine Peyroux This satin-voiced songstress has spent her life and career moving between The U.S. and Paris, making music that simultaneously lowers blood pressure and raises endorphins. Er, it relaxes. Catch her singing tracks from her new album, âÄúBare Bones,âÄù which was released on Tuesday. Pantages Theater, 710 Hennepin Ave. Sun. 7:30 p.m. $34 – $41 Art âÄì Contemporary Monsters NobodyâÄôs really talking about how the monster could use a bit of an updating for the days of web 2.0, but Contemporary Monsters is hinting at just that. If Edward Cullen, âÄúTwilightsâÄù sparkling, non-humanitarian vampire just doesnâÄôt cut it anymore, this gallery proposes haunting, life-like images made out of clay that meld the human with the animal, and the human-animal result with contemporary culture. Featured artist Edith GarciaâÄôs artistic ventures began when she started âÄúpursuing the literal meanings of figurative phrases, such as âÄúIâÄôll wash your mouth out with soapâÄù in her Peeling Off the Skin of Childhood series.âÄù Eek! Northern Clay Center, 2424 East Franklin Ave. Music âÄì Nomad Four-year Anniversary Party Ok, Sunday is still two days from St. PatrickâÄôs day, but NomadâÄôs Four-year Anniversary party will give anyone just the excuse they need to start the beer appreciating two days early. The Nomad, one of the West BankâÄôs prime bars, has been providing a place for people to kick back, play bocce ball and challenge their livers for four whole years. Cause for celebration? Oui. Nomad World Pub, 501 Cedar Ave. S. 5 p.m. Music âÄì Juan de Marcos and the Afro-Cuban All Stars Madeleine Peyroux not your bag? OK, get a bit less emotional and a bit more sexy over at Nicollet Mall, where you can see this act so big it wouldnâÄôt dare to fit on the stage of half the bars around campus. Yes, theyâÄôre a collective, and every single key stroked and drum tapped sounds coherent and sublime enough to appear to come from one central, super mellow mind. Orchestra Hall, 1111 Nicollet Mall 7 p.m. $24 – $39s Art âÄì Altars America is a country that most likely is not leading the world in alter production. Pepsi logos and jobless debutantes, sure, but decorated spiritual shrines never quite took off here, unless you count 13-year-oldsâÄô shrines to Teen Beat boys. But the alter remains an evocative image of devotion and a representation of relations that simple words canâÄôt always explain. At Stevens Square center for the arts, Alters features 11 artists taking on the idea of the alter and making it their own. Stevens Square Center for the Arts, 1905 Third Ave. S. 1-5 p.m. Culture to Consume: Watch this: Pinocchio 70 years ago, Disney released one of the most horrifying movies in the history of film: âÄúPinocchio.âÄù To commemorate the terrifying event, Disney has released a two-disc platinum edition of the film, which will undoubtedly chill you to the very core. Friday is the 13th after all, so why not celebrate by watching the unspeakable horrors of villainous anthropomorphic foxes and boys being turned into donkeys. Yeah, pretend like you arenâÄôt scared. Listen to this: Yeah Yeah Yeahs The Yeah Yeah YeahâÄôs new album âÄúItâÄôs BlitzâÄù is now available for download; the tentative April release date was pushed up due to early leakage. Take that corporations! The new album is mega-catchy and features the usual blend of Karen OâÄôs distinctly sex-tinged vocals, synthesizers and interjecting guitar riffs. The album was produced by Nick Launay and TV On The RadioâÄôs resident white guy, Dave Sitek, whose fingerprint is apparent. Read this: Missed Connections On the Minneapolis Missed Connections board ,you will either find that missing love of your life or have a good LOL at some of the descriptors people use. Located on the everymanâÄôs site Craigslist.com, the Missed Connections board is a place where people attempt to find their soulmate, who was âÄúthe smallish girl with blonde hairâÄù or âÄúthat girl with the headphones on the campus connector.âÄù Oh sweet mystery of life, arenâÄôt we all just small fish in a big pond? Drink this: Margarita ItâÄôs spring break, people, and whether youâÄôre going somewhere warm or sitting in your icicle-encrusted apartment youâÄôve got to celebrate with a margarita. Grab some strong tequila and throw in any assortment of crazy flavors you enjoy. Salt the rim of your glass and presto! YouâÄôre in Cancun, getting a lap dance from a sunburned co-ed. Eat this: BK Burger Shots BK burger shots. Finally, the burger becomes slightly less American and slightly more stomach-sized. For those used to head-sized burgers, never fear, you can get a six-pack. Click this: F ***My Life People upload their most unfortunate stories and leave it to the discriminating public to decide between the merciful âÄúYeah, your life is f***edâÄù or the more uncompassionate âÄúYou deserved that one.âÄù ItâÄôs an intriguing look both into how much other peopleâÄôs lives suck and how the sympathetic the public really is. LetâÄôs try one together:âÄúToday, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML.âÄù Yes your life is f***ed. Now you do one. Be warned, this can get really addicting.